LIVINGBLOSSOMS

that my birthday passed by unnoticed by those that matter to me...Its not that I demand presents or gifts...but perhaps I want my special day to be you know...special. I wanted to spend it with my family and close friends. It is after all, a once in a year event. Is it too much to expect a birthday cake without having to ask for it? Is it too much to ask for a phone call instead of a simple facebook post or sms as if...you can't really be bothered? Apparently, it was indeed too much to ask and I am sorry.

I now realize that perhaps I expected too much from everyone. I expected that people would treat you the same way you treated them. If you remember and go through elaborate plans in order to make their special day a memorable one, is it not logical that you would expect the same when your time comes?  In a perfect world, that would happen. But its not a perfect world, is it? Sometimes things defy comprehension and logic. Thinking about it will only cause hurt, anger and a lot of pain. It also makes you sound so pathetic. So why bother?

Its definitely not the greatest way to start a year. But I guess its time to move on. After all, nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.

So my scholarship agreement is waiting for the Registrar's awesome signature. Why awesome? Coz my whole future depends on the strokes of his mighty pen. If that isn't awesome, then I don't know what is.

I also told the peeps involved to book my flight on the 3rd. It means that I have about 8 days left. Everything major is pretty much settled: visa, accommodation, transport from Heathrow to Canterbury. The Dean has also imparted his pre-departure words of wisdom (for the third time) to me this morning.  I think he keeps forgetting hes already told me all that stuff before. Twice. I've bought all the necessary things except food and stationary. All i need to do is to get the agreement settled, get my ticket and allowance, do a bit more shopping, do a lil' doa selamat and I'm good to go.

I'm pretty happy now. I can't wait to begin the next phase of my life and get my doctorate as fast as I can. Along the way, who knows if I get lucky and come home as a wife?  Or if I may come back at all *gasp*? Anything can happen in 3 years time. I am after all (having experienced this on my birthday), in charge of my own happiness. And that, is a very bitter pill to swallow.

p/s- As this is a personal ranting, I've disabled the comments. I just need to get all this out of my chest. Then I can forgive, and hopefully, forget.