LIVINGBLOSSOMS

Sunday

2011-03-14T00:21:00.000+08:00

Its another lazy Sunday afternoon. I'm here underneath the duvet, too lazy to get up. Been surfing the news, reading up on the Japan situation. Quite worried about the nuclear power plant issue. Wouldn't want another Chernobyl on our hands. Oh, I was super emm..awed? by the destructive force of the tsunami. Its absolutely horrible, to see the tiny white cars trying to outrun the massive wave, and failing. Can you imagine being in that car? I can't. This is another video that made me gasp in horror, about a dog trying to escape the wave. Sad :(

Got a few friends in Japan. Helder, Mamat and others. Hope they are all doing well and safe.

Bunny suits

2011-03-11T05:50:00.000+08:00

On Tuesday night as I was walking down Elliot footpath, a guy in a full bunny suit passed me by. It was about 10 p.m. and I was walking all alone down the hill. The wind was blowing and it was very quite. Eerily quite. I was walking super fast and was praying hard that nothing bad would happen to me. Suddenly, I heard the soft pitter-patter of footsteps and before I knew it, this huge guy in a pink bunny suit, complete with white bushy bobby tail passed me by. It was so random that I just had to laugh. You know how you get so scared and sometimes just burst out laughing? No? Come on..I'm sure I'm not the only one. Anyway, I just burst out this huge snort of a laughter that probably shocked the guy because he literally hopped about a foot in the air, turned around to give me a baleful stare and stomped off in a huff. Sorry dude, just one of those days. Just makes you wanna ask whats going on here?!!!!

Ok, back to work. Bai.

Mom

2011-03-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

Today is your special day. I wish I was there to celebrate it with you. Maybe make you a really nice breakfast of french toast and eggs. Take you out to a spa to get those foot massaged and a facial so that you feel extra cared for. Perhaps we can do a spot of shopping together like we used to do back then? I know that without me there you don't really go to malls anymore. Then I'd cook dinner, a fabulous one that will leave you burping like theres no tomorrow. I know how you love when someone else cooks for a change and I can cook really well. After all, I had the best teacher. Anyway, I would also buy you a wonderful gift, jewelry of course, and you would smile that beautiful smile that I miss so much. Do you know how many times I dream of your smile? I would also buy you a cake, a delicious, creamy cake with pretty candles on top.I would have loved to see your face as we bring out the cake, so surprised and cute. Even though you don't believe in wishing when blowing the candles but I'll make a wish for you. I would wish that you would be happy and be stress free from now on because you of all people deserve such happiness. Then I would hug you long and hard. I'd probably not let you go. Its been a year plus since we last met so I hope you won't mind me smothering you with kisses too. I really, really miss you.

Hence, to the woman who gave birth to me, who was there when I screwed up and when I succeeded, who means everything to me, I hope you know that your daughter loves you and is thinking about you always, especially today. I'm so sorry that I can't be there today. So sorry :'(.

Happy Birthday, mommy.

p/s- I love you.

March already?

2011-03-08T21:22:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since I've written anything here. Not for the lack of ideas certainly, but simple laziness. Every time I start typing, something more important comes up and after a while, I just gave up. Anyway, I'm at the library now and have a bit of time on my hands. I'm meeting my supervisor later this evening to discuss my latest submission. I've read a few journals and downloaded dozens more to read tonite before bed. I've also refreshed tumblr numerous times, stalked some people on facebook and laughed at the tweets coming in (its Pancake Day today..go figure).

Oh, did you guys know that I lost my phone about two weeks ago? Yupp, I think I accidentally left it in the cab but the cab company said that no phones were found so ntahla. Well, thank goodness I have insurance on the phone, kalo tak bunuh diri!! However, its taking me ages to claim it. Agesss. So many forms to fill and send out. Lazy sungguh and it doesn't help that I don't really miss my phone. I don't really have anyone to call or text here. I mostly use the phone to check my e-mails and play games. Kinda pathetic, nampak sangat takde social life sini. Huh.

Hmm, thats actually not that true.Hahaha. Hmmph. I've met this wonderful guy about a month ago. WOoooo. Jgn gelabah, we're just friends. I enjoy his company and he is awesome in general. But lets see how it goes yah.

This is so dreamyyy..One day I'm gonna be in that boat!

Anywayyyy, I hope to be writing here more frequently. Loserla ada blog but tak update, kan? Whatever.

Take care everyone.

Spring is almost here..can't wait for the cute bunnies to come out!

random cute pic of a puppy

random pic of a beautiful sunset

Y U NO GIVE ME NEW PHONE FASTER?!!!

What a day!

2011-01-20T22:49:00.000+08:00

Today is the first day of my 26th year on earth. I feel good, re-energized and ready for another year. Yesterday was super fun. I feel loved. Thanks everyone. I got beautiful red roses from my housemates, a surprise birthday party and lovely presents.

I realize now that you've gotta appreciate what you have and stop moaning about what is lacking. Yupp, it is sad that my family is not here and that I'm still single mingle at the moment. I can moan n cry all day long but why should I? I'm surrounded by friends who are kinda like my family here and being single is fun *insert wink poyo here*!

So my birthday wish for this year: to always remember that happiness is a CHOICE.

p/s- amni if you r reading this thanks for your e-mail! good luck for your phd journey love!

Aging gracefully; random thoughts on a sunday night

2011-01-17T08:49:00.000+08:00

In a few more days I'll be turning 26. Birthdays, overrated much?

Its been a year since I've hugged my parents and best friends. Miss them I do :'(

I have high hopes for 2011.

Live life to the fullest.

November baby!

2010-11-19T23:30:00.000+08:00

Last night I went to a friend's house to play card games and generally take a break from my readings. I didn't check my phone again that night until I got back, which was around 2 something a.m. Then I went to sleep. All through the night, my phone was constantly beeping but I ignored it as usual. When I woke up, apparently it was my birthday again this year, judging from all the birthday wishes on my fb wall. A friend of mine silently and sneakily changed my birth date on fb to 19th November, which is today. That'll teach me not to log out of fb and leaving my mac out in the open..I guess the temptation to frape was too much and my friend succumbed to it..lol

Aduh. However, now I know who actually remembers the day I was born a.k.a. my true friends, and those who rely on fb to inform them of friend's birthdays (I admit that i'm guilty of this actually)..it was pretty funny trying to explain to people what happened..funny and frustrating..last last I just thanked them for their wishes..penat dah.

Anyway, the new Harry Potter movie is out! I should be jumping-on-the-bed excited but I'm not and I can't. I've got to hand in a paper tomorrow and I've a book review to write by next week. No time for fancy wizards or magical entities. Please if you've watched it tell me if its good! I might go next week if I have time.

On a side note, Boxing Day is coming up!!!! woohooooo..can't wait to go crazy over the sales..

some pictures from the Nottingham Games I went to last 2 weeks..I didn't any photos, malas plak hari tu..but Notts was beautiful and so cold!

Ok, will update more later. tc eberibadi.

Losing my ..........

2010-10-29T05:00:00.000+08:00

Its hard, PhD. After 8 months, I now understand why. Its not that research or what you're doing is hard. It is not easy of course, but do-able. In fact, its not that different from the undergrad days. If you put enough effort, you will see the results. The thing thats so hard is actually trying to stay on this path without straying. It is the patience and persistence you need to continue doing the same thing every single day for 3 years. It is ignoring the feeling that life around you is passing by, friends getting married or earning promotions or the family moving on with their lives. It is not thinking about going on a long holiday somewhere when you know you have a 30 page writing up to do in 3 days. It is knowing when to say "No, I've work to do" when you would rather have fun.

Yet knowing this truth strangely does not make me feel better or more motivated. I fear the long road ahead. My dreams are often dark these days, bereft of the light of motivation that previously shone so brightly even during the darkest of nights.

Oh Lord, help me pls.

Summer is nearly over

2010-09-01T11:55:00.000+08:00

It was pretty easy to do. I had the time and wanted to eat something cheesy.

Its already September and the leaves are beginning to fall. The wind is strong and cold, making a mockery of the bright sunlight. No more cardis, t-shirts and gladiators. Summer is nearly over.

I was having severe doubts this morning, regarding some decisions I've already made. However, after talking to my mom these doubts have been laid to rest. She is right, its over and done with. Move on. Summer is nearly over.

In a few weeks the campus will be brimming with students again. Fresh faced and probably excited. My classes will start and close friends will return. A new semester for them, a brand new year for dreams. Change is inevitable. Summer is nearly over.

Its hard enough...

2010-08-20T06:41:00.001+08:00

(warning, this post has a lot of expletives and harsh language so to sensitive people, sorry)

...having male flatmates but when they're always trying to barge in 'accidentally'? Whats up with that, huh? I mean I have no choice about who my flatmates are but where the hell are your manners? What happened to knock first and WAIT?! If we're like best friends or something, I'd understand but I've never uttered more then a few words in the kitchen to you! OMG I'm so angry!!!

Ok, lets start from the beginning. I used to live in Tyler Court, a decent apartment-like place where all my flatmates were nice females who knew their manners. No problem. Then summer came and I had to move out into Darwin College. They have this like 5 bedroom flats, shared toilet and shower. Notice the lack of 's' in toilet. It was fine at first, all my flatmates were clean-loving girls. The toilet was always clean and incident-free.

Then 2 of them moved out and these 2 guys came to replace them. Then the toilet started getting disgustingly dirty. I could still bear with it (cleaned up after them like a freakin cleaner everyday) as I knew that theres no helping people with dirty habits, esp when you don't know which one of them did it. Then later one of them developed a nasty habit of only wearing his undies everywhere. If he had the body of greek god, I wouldn't have minded so much (o_o'), but at 50+ years old, well, its better for all of us if he remain clothed in public. I told the guy nicely (since we should respect the elderly) that I'd appreciate it if he could refrain from walking about in his undies in the flat. It made me feel uncomfortable (not to mention a bit queasy). He actually looked surprised that I asked?!!! Well, thats different cultures for you. Brazilians. Maybe they think everywhere is a beach or something.

Then theres this other guy that lives right next door to me At night he makes weird noises (don't ask) and always accidentally (so he says) barges into my room, konon mistakenly thinking it was his. I was so lucky that each time he came in I was doing work on the comp instead of changing bras or some other private stuff. Come on man!!! Fucking idiot, u retarded or something? You've been living here for almost 3 months and can't remember which of the two rooms on the left side are yours?Rooms which have clear numbers on them and my doorknob has a neon pink ribbon on it (i put it there the first time he did that AND told him about it)?Who are you trying to kid here?So when last night, he opened my door again (this is the fourth time!) without knocking, that was the last straw. How dare he?After my warning? So I nearly blew his head off with my scream of fury (it was really loud; heard some spiders scuttle away, birds took flight and the toilet door slammed shut, emm, that was probably the wind tho..). I told him that I knew he was either some kind of pervert or thief and if he did this again, I would call security (just in case though, I did report him to the campus watch this morning) and have him arrested for being a peeping tom, sexual harrassment and attempted theft (and for having bad hair..but he really does have ugly hair). He lamely gave the same excuse that he didn't remember blablabla. I freaking shouted at him that he was a fucking stupid asshole, liar and if he couldn't even remember his room number, then its a wonder that he managed to gain a place to do his phd with such an incompetent brain. His face when I was telling him off went all red. He muttered his apologies and went back to his room. Didn't even bother defending himself, stupid prick., nampak sgt guilty. Now because of him I have to lock my door every single time I'm in the room. Huh!

*takes deep breath*

Dugaan sungguh Ramadhan ni. Was I right to lose my temper? Or was I a bit OTT aka paranoid?

Shooting stars

2010-08-14T02:03:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night was magical. I was lying on my back watching the dark skies, counting the twinkling stars and identifying constellations. I was alone on tyler hill, the silence and darkness like a shroud enveloping me. The whole uni was quiet, as if I was the only one there that night. I wondered what everyone was doing. My family, were they ok? What did they have for berbuka? I miss home so very much.Yes, I do. My friends, were they having fun? Do they think of me sometimes? I hope so but if they don't, I understand.

It was a strange feeling, staring up at the immense black canvas.I felt..well, tiny and kinda peaceful too. My body, stressed and tired after days spent in front of the computer, finally could relax. Its been a very tough 2 weeks. My research is progressing well, Alhamdulillah, but I had some difficulties with the philosophical issues. I hate philosophy, seriously. It was really nice to just sit back and let my mind wonder for a bit.

Then it began. A shower of sparks lit up the sky, like millions of tiny fireflies. Then another shower started near the first one. Then another and another, until a huge portion of the night sky was filled with them. It was the first time I've seen a meteor shower. Beautiful, I thought. But it was just the beginning apparently. Out of the gathering of stars, one suddenly flared up and began moving. It flew across the sky and left a gleaming trail behind it. Then a host of other stars started followed it too. The night was like a brilliant magic show put up by the Al-mighty. Just for me.

Shooting stars. They say you should make a wish and it'll come true, but I didn't make any wishes that night. Shooting stars. It is enough for me to ask Allah for what I want and it is only Him that will hear my prayers. He comforts me when I cry as I berbuka alone in my room and think of Raya this year without my family. He hears me when I sigh with frustration over my research. He is there when I feel like quitting everything and He gives me that urge to go on. My loneliness, sadness and tiredness vanished. I realized that I'm not alone after all. Never have been.

Through the tears, I smiled. It was indeed a beautiful gift, that night. Shooting stars, I owe you one.

p/s- Happy fasting everyone!!!

Online grocery shopping

2010-07-25T11:39:00.001+08:00

One of the most amazing things I discovered when I came to the UK was the online grocery shopping services available. Asda, Tesco, Sainsbury, they have all got online shopping services and (almost) everybody here uses it. Before coming here, I didn't even know that it was possible to shop for chicken, eggs, fruits, furniture, towels etc just by clicking at pictures, paying by card and having them delivered to your door. I mean, I know that the local kedai runcit delivers our gas but thats it.

All my life, grocery shopping was considered a big deal for our large family. It became like a ritual, all of us off to Giant, or Tesco, or before that Macro/Tops usually during the weekend to stock up on everything. At the hypermarket, we would all disperse to look at stuff we wanted (leaving mom with the cart and long shopping list) and would meet up again, usually when it was time to pay. Great kids, eh. lol.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed these shopping trips because it was during these trips that I learned how to pick up the ripe fruits or freshest veggies from my mom/dad. It was here too that I became aware of the importance of making grocery lists, sticking to a budget and the price of food in general (thus, not wasting them when I got home). For my siblings, they had fun running around the store, looking at live catfish, taking a candy bar or three and riding the shopping cart with the food in their laps. Grocery shopping for us, and for many other Malaysian families out there, was like a fun family trip to the park (better, even). Just go to Tesco on Sundays and you'll see what I mean. Even the grandparents come along, not to mention the little kiddies in their jammies (ko ingat nak g pasar malam ke hah!).

Err, couldn't find a picture of a packed Tesco in Malaysia.Sorry.

So after a few days here, I decided to try out this grocery shopping online. I even shopped for my bed sheet + comforter, cutlery, toiletries and electronic appliances too. Wow. That was all I could say. When it got delivered I gushed to my parents about the joy of not having to push the annoying makciks away from my tomatoes and not having to queue to have it weighed. I was ecstatic about not having to even move my butt to get anything anymore. All for a small fee, of course., but hey, nothing is free in this world right. Thus began my days as an online grocery shopper. Every two or three weeks, I would open the store's website and browse for potatoes, pans, soap, you name it, booked a slot and just waited for my stuff to arrive. Easy life.

This went on for a few months. It was convenient, fast and fun. Recently though, I've had more time on my hands so I decided to go to the store myself today. Ok, the first thing I realized was how I missed the atmosphere of a hypermarket, the smells, the announcements (I once wanted to work as an announcer at Tesco btw) and people. You can also really feel the thrill of buying stuff (shopaholics say holla!!) that you definitely don't get when shopping online.

I also realized that I missed the feeling of able to touch and poke/pick up my food. I could test its ripeness, whether there were holes or worms in it, whether the expiry date was near or if the can of tuna was dented etc. Staring at a tiny picture on a computer screen seems ridiculous now because the pictures they put up are always perfect; wouldn't do to have a picture of dented cans of tuna scaring off the customers, right. Unfortunately most of the time, you do get the dented cans or crappy fruits or near expired bread, very different from the standard picture shown. Thats the thing I hate most about online shopping.

Contrary to popular belief, the blond woman is not me. Surprising, right?

Then there is the variety of stuff available. On the website, they only display certain stuff and if you're a lazy bum like me, you wouldn't like to go to page 46 of the dairy section just to get a different type of yogurt so you end up getting the same ones everytime. In the store however, everything is displayed there, just take your pick! Heavenly!!!

Nope, this is not me either. Whats wrong with you people?!

After paying up, the bitter truth emerged. With the same amount of money, you get more stuff when you shop at the store. The same shopping list, the same kinda stuff that I buy everytime, but it all costs less. This is mostly because there are TONS of offers like 2 for 3 pounds or 4 juices for 2 pounds, that aren't available online. Hence, more value for my money.

So after nearly 6 months here, I can conclude that although online grocery shopping is convenient and saves you time and energy, going to the store itself is definitely better. You do have to struggle with the bags yourself, subjecting your arms to torture and near dismemberment, but seeing all the fresh fish and vegetables that you so carefully scrutinized before buying, its totally worth it.

Finally! Yes, this is definitely me with some of my shopping. Boy, do I look cool doing grocery shopping!

It was also kinda sad to see how deserted the stores are here. You don't see families shopping together like in Malaysia. Most of them are old folks or foreigners like me. You can see that online grocery shopping has really replaced traditional shopping, judging by the empty aisles. I think thats a shame because parents are missing out on the chance to teach kids what a whole chicken looks like or the many varieties of lettuce available etc. Thats what I think anyway. I kinda miss the hectic tesco/giant stores back home where there were huge traffic 'jams' in the aisles where everybody refuses to budge their carts and make any eye contact with strangers. Fun times!

Sums everything up pretty well.

So if anyone dares to tell you that Malaysia sucks for not having online grocery services, tell them to stick it up where the sun don't shine because now you know the truth!!!

What do you guys think, would/do you shop online or prefer going to the store?

What a weird world...

2010-07-20T22:59:00.000+08:00

we live in. Check this out!

Its about a black couple having a white child. Not only is she white, but she has long blond hair and blue eyes!! wow. To say the parents were shocked would clearly be an understatement. A geneticist from Oxford thinks its a rare genetic mutation coz the baby certainly is not an albino. What do you guys think?

Anyway, another short one for today.byebye.

Mr Space

2010-07-20T05:15:00.000+08:00

Best iphone/ipod app everrrrr!!!

hehe..over plak..but seriously, the game is fantastic..

How have you guys been doing? Had a great weekend? I hope so coz I sure did. Lived like a bum in my room, watching movies and chillax-ing...heaven~

Ok, just a short one today.bai.

Run

2010-07-17T06:02:00.000+08:00

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

____________________________________________________________________________

I think that Leona's version is better. More heartfelt than Snow Patrol's. I don't know, what do you guys think?

Anyway, today I felt really happy. I talked with my two bestfriends, zakiah and sheela, about lots of stuff, exchanging mp3s and gossip. Its been such a long time since we did that, and it felt really good, just like the good old days when I knew that on Sunday we would meet up for a little McD dinner. Only this time I'm like a gazillion miles away and won't be able to do that anymore :(

I also talked with my parents and siblings at home for some time. My little bro is turning 15 at the end of this month. Its really weird to think him turning 15 as I still remember him as that cute diapered baby I used to carried around. Time flies really fast kan, when it comes to boys growing up. One minute their annoying babies and the next they're taller than you and have voices resembling Mufasa and it makes you wonder who are these bumbling giants and where are my cute baby brothers?

Another reason for my happiness is this:

I know, it can't replace any of those delicious malaysian food (tempe!ikan keli!) but hey, it ain't bad. Healthy (err..) and yummy, what more can you ask for? Its basically strawberry yogurt and some white chocolate covered shortcake. Perfect dessert :)

And the last reason I was so happy today is...well, hehehe..erk, interpret that as you will.suffice to say that its been a very long time since I've felt this way.

Alright then, I am going to give myself a long break this weekend. I want to watch some (more) movies, go to town for a bit of shopping and have some fun!

Have a nice weekend ahead everyone, take care~!!!

p/s- I am absolutely in love with Iker Casillas, the Spanish goalkeeper capitan..He is called St Iker in Spain for his miraculous saves..anyway, he is such a hottie and has a beautiful gf, sports journalist Sara something..take a peek at what happened after Spain's big world cup win- gorgeous couple!Cair kan kalo ada bf camtu? uuuUUUuuuu..Oh, and congrats Spain for your win!!!

pp/s- because I'm feeling extra chirpy today, here's some demotivational posters for you guys to LOL

Byeeee

Fantastic Mr Fox-

2010-07-17T04:39:00.001+08:00

The Distance- Evan and Jaron

2010-07-11T19:35:00.001+08:00

"The Distance"
-Evan and Jaron-

The sky has lost it's color
The sun has turned to grey
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever you're away
I crawl up in the corner
As I watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time you're comin' back

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time until I next see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That with every breath I take I'm callin your name

But I can't take the distance

I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
Not nearly close enough

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time until I next see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That with every breath I take I'm callin your name

I brave fire and I brave rain
To be by your side I'd do anything
I can't take the distance

I will go the distance
I will go the miles
That's how much you mean to me

'Cause I can't take the distance
I can't take these miles
I can't take the time until I next see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That with every breath I take I'm calling your name
I can't take the distance

It's hard to remember
As long as you're away
When I find solace
There's only one way

Mood: Missing my friends and family very much much now.

Paul the Amazing Octopus

2010-07-08T09:10:00.001+08:00

Paul in action!

Spain's victory over Germany in the World Cup last night will come have no surprise to those following one of the competition's most successful pundits – for the result had already been foretold by Paul the Octopus, a creature that has achieved celebrity status with the accuracy of its predictions.

Dubbed the psychic octopus, the English-born Paul (hatched at the Sea Life Park in Weymouth) has correctly predicted all of Germany's World Cup results including the 1-0 defeat last night. He predicted Germany's wins against England and Argentina, and even Serbia's defeat of Germany in the group stage.

Such is the popularity of his selections that, on the eve of last night's game, the German news channel n-tv broadcast Paul's prediction live.

Paul's handlers at Aquarium Sea Life in the western city of Oberhausen have turned him into a betting phenomenon by putting mussels into two glass boxes, with one box having Germany's flag while the other carries the flag of their opponents. Paul is then left to choose one box to open to retrieve the mussel.

On Tuesday night, he at first crept towards the container bearing the Spanish flag before moving around the tank and hovering over the German cube. But the two-year-old cephalopod eventually returned to his first choice.

Not everyone is a fan of Paul, however. After Argentina lost to Germany in the quarter-final, Argentines threatened to kill the octopus and put him in a paella. The newspaper El Dia even gave a recipe for anyone daring to capture Paul: "All you need is four normal potatoes, olive oil for taste and a little pepper."--->HAHAHAHAHA

Bookmaker William Hill is so impressed by Paul's predictive powers that it was offering even odds that he will pick the winner of the final on Sunday, between Spain and Holland.

"Punters are keen to keep on the right side of Paul's tips, so we are giving them the chance to bet that he'll pick the winner before they even know which side he has opted for," said William Hill's spokesman Graham Sharpe.

At least one punter was kicking himself for not paying attention to Paul. A man who staked a record €500,000 (£415,000) on Germany winning last night lost his wager – the largest World Cup bet ever, according to William Hill.

Paul has erred in his predictions, although not often. His most famous mistake was when he wrongly picked Germany over Spain in the 2008 European Championship. Spain won 1-0. So at least he learns from his mistakes.

-Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2010/jul/08/soccer-octopus-world-cup-final

Ok, I should have listened to Paul too i guess. Hahahaha.I was quite expecting Germany to win, but Spain proved too good. Oh well, its over and done with. Now I just can't wait for the finals! Oh, I skyped with my dad just now and he looked awful! I mean, tired and sleepy from staying up until 4 a.m. to watch the match.hahaha..kesian..here its 730 p.m. so no sleep deprivation issue at all..heh

Anyway, do u guys like rainbows? I love them. I love how the colours look all bright and cheerful against the gloomy sky. I love how they appear out of nowhere and cheer u up. Rainbows are beautiful, period. Well apparently, this guy on youtube loves them too. Very, very much. He sees a double rainbow and begins weeping and laughing and saying things like 'What is the meaning of this' etc. Crazy, hilarious stuff so do check it out if you have time :)

K, have to get back to my work now. Adiossss~

Que sera sera

2010-07-06T07:15:00.002+08:00

'Que sera, sera,
'Whatever will be, will be;
'The future's not ours to see.
'Que sera, sera,
'What will be, will be.

As of late, I've been thinking about my future a lot. Many of my friends are jumping into the marriage bandwagon. Like lemmings, it seems like everyone is running towards the cliff of marital bliss and hurling themselves over without a thought. Everyone but me that is. Some days, I swear I can hear my biological clock ticking away and my sub conscience mind counting how many eggs I have left. Scary, right? (belum lagi bgtau about my mimpi dapat baby sendiri o_o' ) But do you girls out there feel the pressure too? Or am I alone here? Whatever pon, que sera sera kan? Whatever will be, will be. sigh~

Tick tock...makes me really nervous, this clock.

Anywayyy, its been some time since I've updated. Sorry! Its just that I don't have TIME to write/do anything other than my phd work. PHD is HARD people!!!!!! Susah nak mamposssss.OMG.I have a few white hairs already and its only been like 5 months. There are tons and tons of materials to read, analyze and write. I sleep at 4 or 5 a.m. every single day and I'm still gasping at straws here. I don't have time even to look at the beautiful clouds outside or even eat properly cooked meals anymore. Thank goodness I have a few friends here that often 'support' me (i.e. inviting me over for dinner lol thanks guysss) when I'm too busy I forget even to eat. Sedar2 dah lapar gile and its like night time already. Point is, I don't really have time to do anything but study these days. Sad life indeed.

Ok, thats enough of sesi meluah perasaan. (I am grateful for the everything, just so you know). But I have a few other things to talk about.

First, World Cup! Which team do you think will win? I have a feeling that Germany has a very good chance, based on their performance against Argentina and England that is. Speaking of Argentina, did u guys notice Maradona's (the hand of god) antics during the game? I think he is an interesting character indeed. So much emotions on his face and he was standing so close to the edge of the field most of the time that I thought that he wanted to just join his boys in the field. And whats with his claim that he will run naked around town if his team won? What kinda manager does that? hahahaha!!!!

Muke ko sgt expressive!

So yeah, I think the finals will be Holland v Germany and my bets are with the Germans. Miroslav Klose is super hot btw. I noticed him in the last WC and now he is a bit older but still so fineeeee :D

*wipes drool*

Second, KassemG!!!!! OMG! I watched his videos on youtube and couldn't stop laughing. Everyone, please check him out and watch his "Awkward Moments" and "California on" series. Funny with a capital F!

I think he is very funny. but be forewarned that his jokes are not for the easily offended.

Third, Lady Gaga's Alejandro music vid. I mean, whats up with thaaaaaaaaat? I know she is eccentric and all but this video is seriously disturbing at all levels. I don't even understand what the song was about in the first place and thought the vid might explain more. Instead, the video left me seriously traumatised. Go and have a look and see for yourself the debacle that is Gaga, and tell me you wouldn't want to burn your eyes out with a hot poker after that.

How true! huhuhuhuh

Last one, here's a few songs that I'm listening to now. Thought of sharing with you guys. Why? Well, just coz.

1) Pray for you - Jason and the long road to love

-I thought this was a typical mushy love song but I've never been so wrong in my life. The lyrics are fantastic, cruel but absolutely awesome!!! hahaha

2) Sail away - David Gray

-I love David Gray and this song is very, very good for those days when you just wanna chill.

3) Half of my Heart- John Mayer & Taylor Swift

- Great song! John's voice uuuuuuuuuhhh...

4) The House that built me - Miranda Lambert

- We all have fond memories of the house that we grew up in. Really sad country song.

Ok, I think I should stop before I post my whole playlist here. And for someone who complains that they don't have enough time, I do seem to have plenty of time to watch vids and download music and now is blogging about it! Sheesh!! So I'd better get back to work.

Take care peepsssss.

Its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday

2010-06-19T01:16:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day of the academic term. Everyone except the postgraduates will be leaving for their summer holidays. Cars, parents,kids and luggage are everywhere. They all look pretty happy but some can be seen crying as they hug their friends goodbye. Some look completely stressed out. After all, packing and checking out of the accommodation is a quite a complicated process.

A few hours ago, I sat outside with my french friends, Agathe and Lissie (both leaving tmrw), and observed all the drama. We laughed at the sight of parents trying to stuff their medium sized cars with huge duvets and boxes of books. We gasped at the rubbish pile, which now resembled a mountain, and pitied the cleaners who will have to clear everything up by tomorrow. We said hello to all the familiar faces and wished them all a good summer.

We stayed and watched until all the cars have gone. Just like that, it was over. Freshers for them, and one term for me. After hugging my friends goodbye, I went up to my room to finish packing. Outside, the blasting wind makes the trees shiver, shake and moan. A couple of rabbits were having a late evening snack under the trees so I threw them a couple of cherries which they gobbled up in record time. In the distance, I can see naked sheep grazing desolately, probably wondering the same thing as everyone: where is that damn summer weather? The cold seems to last forever!

It feels kinda sad to leave my room in Tyler Court (I have to move out tomorrow to Darwin College for the summer). This place has been my sanctuary for 5 months and I will definitely miss everything about it, even the sickly orange walls and horrid blue carpets. Many,many fond memories I have of this room and my flat.

Anyway, enough depressing moments for today I guess. Life must go on, especially for those who are staying for the summer, no? Theres research to be done, bags to be packed and a room to be moved into. And all that ain't gonna be done by itself, thats for certain.

So take care everyone and have a wonderful weekend ahead!

Cherries and goodbyes

2010-06-18T04:14:00.000+08:00

Its cherry season now. In town, there are many stalls piled high with bright red cherries. Tender, sweet, juicy cherries that will stain your lips a lovely rose colour when you eat them. Yes, its been a long time since I've updated this blog and here I am rambling about cherries. But forgive me for the last time i gorged on these heavenly fruits were when dad bought some home when I was still a wee kid in the states. Good times they were...good times indeed.

I had a major presentation yesterday. 1 hour of presenting my research in front of all the postgrad students and the faculty. It was part of the probation review for the upcoming upgrading process (next year). I've been preparing for it for the last 4 weeks, staying up until 11 with my supervisor. Alhamdulillah, it went well. Very well :)..I managed to answer all the questions and even made a joke or two. Yeay! I'm very happy that all the effort so far has been worth it, those sleepless nights and missed meals.

Anyway, after the presentation I felt the need to celebrate a bit. Went to Syabil's for a bbq and helped myself to delicious chicken, sausages and satay!!!

Today, my two adopted siblings here, eza n aqil, left to spend their summer back home. It'll be another 3 months til I get to meet them again. Cried a little as goodbyes were said. I can't imagine the next 3 months without them. Its strange actually, how close we all got just these few months since I got here. They helped me banish my homesickness and replaced it with laughter, fun and friendship.Both of you will be missed badly :'(

Ok, I still owe posts on my trip to Paris n Disneyland. Now that I'm a bit free, I'll prolly do that soon.

TTFN!

Blur faced clouds

2010-05-13T04:25:00.000+08:00

As I was walking home from the library today, I saw this:

It made me laugh really loud tgh org ramai as the cloud depicted my feelings at that moment : kinda blur/dazed after browsing the entire collection of law books to find one text book which wasn't at its original shelf. Pening!

Tulips!

yummy!

Btw, have you guys seen the Glee KLFlashmob at The Gardens last Saturday? It was awesomeeeee...I love flashmobs and Glee..wish I could have been there myself..uuuUUuuu

Thats it for now..Take care everyone! Bye

regarding dragons and memories

2010-05-12T13:02:00.001+08:00

One of my favourite authors of all time is Robin Hobb. Her first 3 trilogies, the Farseer, Liveship Traders and Tawny Man series were among the best fantasy books I've ever read. Her characters are all tragically scarred, her world brimming with magic and her plots are always fantastically played out. However, the ultimate ending was poorly executed. A tragedy, to end such beautiful novels with a wimpy half-baked finale. So it was indeed a happy moment when I discovered that she had written a two novel series, The Rain Wild Chronicles, which purportedly picked up where the three trilogies left off. Maybe, it would ease the disappointment after all these years. I had very high hopes for these novels and thank god, they delivered, kind of.

The first novel is Dragon Keeper.

The second novel is Dragon Haven.

Well, I won't bore everyone by retelling the tale but I will say that the books pretty much made up for the dismal ending of Tawny Man. For Robin Hobb or fantasy book lovers, the books are a must read. It was really wonderful to revisit the magical world with all the wonderful creatures in it. Fitz and the fool may not be in it (huge sob!), but there are new characters that are equally compelling. An overall good read I must say.

One major grouse I had with the books though- during the previous 9 novels, Robin Hobb has only hinted at the possibility of ermm 'gay' love between her characters but in these two novels, she apparently pulled all the stops. Imagine reading Brokeback Mountain but with a couple of dragons in it instead of horses. In fact, there were so many 'romantic moments' of that kind that I felt like throwing up. In fact, I distinctly remember throwing up a little of my tuna sandwich when one of the male characters remarked "your beard is soft as a puppy's". Seriously? That's the lamest/gayest gay pick-up line ever. And thanks, now I cannot see a beard on a man without that line popping up in my head.

I actually googled like 3 times to reconfirm that Robin Hobb was indeed a woman and is married and not a gay guy in disguise. Call me traditional or close minded if you want but I firmly believe that a good fantasy novel's romance/romantic moments should always be between a hero and a heroin. Always. Its kinda like a unwritten rule or something, like you wouldn't want to watch Aragorn snog Legolas in LOTR right? (though in Aragorn's defence, Legolas was kinda hot, blonde and an elf..plus, he was damn good with his bow..hmm, mungkin dah terkeluar topic?)

Anyway, besides reading about dragons and gay dragon keepers, life is as usual I guess. I browsed through an ex-colleague's fb profile and saw some pictures of the IAD gang having lunch and celebrating birthdays. For one moment (actually, it went on for 10 minutes) I was immersed in my memories of the days when I used to join them. Laughing and enjoying baskets of yummy dim-sum. After lunch we would all hurry back to finish up the mountains of work which never seem to diminish. All of it seems like a totally different world now that I'm here in kent. Like today, I spent the whole day cocooned with my supervisor, debating and discussing about my latest work. I went back to my room and relaxed my tired mind by watching a few series of Modern Family or Supernatural. Outside my window I can see the tell-tale hints of the foreign-ness of this land. White people walking home from the library, the intense green foliage swaying in the wind, the strange birds that never seem to sleep at night, a fox prowling for rabbits and the sky that lights up at 4 a.m. It is indeed a different world here.

Its not that I'm unhappy, because I am, really happy. I am after all living my dream and all that. But it felt good to remember, you know, to reminiscence of days gone by, even if it was just for a moment (or 10 minutes). To keep alive the memories of friends, especially Zul. Good times they were. Good times.

~ Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume. ~

Ok, I think today's quota for random posts has been fulfilled. To Zakiah, I miss you very much and I will try to ym with you later today if I can. To sheela, enjoy working.lol. and I miss you too. You guys are plastered to my room wall!! Observe below:

Random Quote to end Random Post:

"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned"

For my mommy dearest

2010-05-09T01:50:00.000+08:00

L.O.V.E.

Mama, thank you for who I am
Thank you for all the things I'm not
Forgive me for the words unsaid
For the times I forgot

Mama remember all my life
You showed me love, you sacrificed
Think of those young and early days
How I've changed along the way

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you, yeah I miss you

Mama forgive the times you cried
Forgive me for not making right
All of the storms I may have caused
And I've been wrong, Dry your eyes

Cause I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you, I miss you

Mama I hope this makes you smile
I hope you're happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made
How I've changed along the way

Cause I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you, Mama

-Mama by Il Divo-

Dearest Mommy,

Its been 25 years since our 'relationship' started. From the first 9 months in your tummy to last night's smile on skype, my love for you has never dimmed. I know that there were so many times that I hurt you, for that I am sorry and will try my hardest to be a better daughter.

I love you mom, Happy Mother's Day!

p/s- I hope you like the present we got you :)

April skies

2010-05-07T01:05:00.000+08:00

Hi peeps..Its been a month since the last post..No specific reason, just that these days, I don't have the mood to write anything..malas pon ada..

Its now May and the skies are getting bluer everyday..everyone is getting hay and exam fever..I however, do not have exams thus can enjoy myself..hehe..anyway, here is what I did last month:

1) Visit to Thorpe Park

It was quite a big amusement park. I rode most of the rides eventhough I was scared half to death on most of them. Overall, I had a really nice time.

2) Easter picnic

It was a really sunny day and we had fun eating, playing 'getah' and limbo-ing. The wind was pretty cold though.

Random dessert pictures tetibe

Well, what else?

The other day, I saw a huge hot air balloon from my window..it was beautiful and kinda funny at the same time..

And for the biggest news yet *insert drum roll please*

I'm going to Disneyland Paris + Paris this 20th May..WOoOoo.. So expect some awesome updates soon-ish!!!! I'm super duper excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (you can tell by the many exclamation marks)

Ok, thats it for now..take care everyone and enjoy life!

p/s- sape prasan Glee lately not that good? I mean compared with the earlier episodes?

Spring

2010-04-06T20:35:00.000+08:00

The naked earth is warm with Spring,
And with green grass and bursting trees
Leans to the sun's kiss glorying,
And quivers in the sunny breeze.
~Julian Grenfell

Its a very bright and colourful world out there now. The flowers are blooming splendidly and the sun is constantly shining (the wind is still cruel though, howling like a banshee and trying to get into your coat).

Anyway, it looks like spring is finally here. For those who don't know this, Kent is known as the Garden of England and it shows. All around town, huge pockets of flowers, tulips, daisies, roses etc can be seen waving their bright heads to the sun. I was so mesmerized by the wonderful sights that I completely forgot to take photos! Fail! I so wanted to show you guys the pretty blooms :(...Next time ok, promise. But I did take some pics around campus on the way back.

Wait, let me start from the beginning. Last Saturday, me and a friend went to town to buy some groceries. Then we had lunch at Chom Chom, a fusion-style buffet restaurant in Canterbury. They served Indian, Chinese, Malay and Italian food for about 10 pounds per head. The food was really delish and we had a lot of it. I really loved the butter chicken, sweet naan bread (had coconut in it), margarita pizza and mixed vege in oyster sauce. We were so absorbed with the food that we totally forgot to snap photos of the different dishes. But I did snap a few of the place itself. Beautiful deco/ambiance, very nice service and great food for a reasonable price. What more can you ask? If any of you come here to visit me (ahem!) I'll definitely bring you to this place :)

Since it was the Easter weekend here, most of the girls in my flat went back home (sob!) so I had the kitchen to myself. To celebrate, last night I made roast chicken and garlic mashed potatoes for dinner. I usually cook simple stuff since there are always other people trying to hog the stove but this time, I spent almost 2 hours in total, preparing, marinating and cooking. Oh the Joy! The results?

The yellow things are bellpeppers.

Mashed potatoes are so damn easy to make. Thanks youtube! hahaha

Gravy made from scratch using the juice from the roast chicken and some other stuff.

I think thats all I have to update. Work is as usual, meaning there is so much to do and so little time to do it. Its getting pretty routine but I am enjoying it so far. I hope everyone had a nice weekend and take care.

Oh, here's something to make you smile :)

See you soon peeps!

Need a pick-me-up?

2010-04-01T18:06:00.000+08:00

Hi guys! thanks so much for the kind wishes..you really made my day here a lot more bearable..still not better, but not worse..oh, theres plenty of snot and lots of coughing going on now so I'm gonna make this post a brief one in order to avoid my beloved mac from being covered with unwholesome germs..hehe

Well, I just wanted to show you guys a couple of err.. useful links that WILL make you feel instantly better..If you're like feeling down or you just need a good laugh, these websites are a good way to lighten up your dull life..I use them like all them time as my life here isn't exactly the bed-of-roses type these days.

Ok, lets get on with it eh.

1) Failblog

This is a youtube channel that has thousands of videos of people failing. Failing in so many things that they do. Whether its whilst doing their job, taking care of their children or pursuing their hobbies. Seeing them all fail miserably will make your horrible life seem a lot better and before you know it, you'll be smiling and laughing out loud.

(my personal fav is singing fail, courage fail, resort name fail, child singer fail and attention fail)

2) Failbooking

This is a website that people can upload how people failed in facebooking. Whether its status updates gone wrong, joining the wrong kinda group or even the joys of farmville, everything you shouldn't do on facebook is here for all to learn (and laugh at). Most of them are dirty jokes mind you, but a lot are really funny, especially if it involves parents commenting on their children's status updates. It also serves to remind me that I should be careful of what I put on facebook, just in case it ends up on this site lol..

3) Demotivationalposters

You know how you can get those motivational posters for Rm10 at Petronas stations? You know the huge black ones that say stuff like Inspiration or Courage and you buy them when you feel really down or just a bit optimistic that day then forget to put them up when you go home? Well, this is the opposite version but it basically does the same thing- cheers you up. Here's a sample of a few of them, but go and check them out for yourselves, and have a good laugh!

4) Icanhascheezburger

For those who are into cats, welcome to cat heaven. Thousands of cute cats with grammer/spelling problems are here for your entertainment.

You can also check out the other links in the website like loldogs and engrish. Both are also pretty funny too.

So thats it for now. I hope I made your day a little better. I'm off to town now for a bit of grocery shopping.

Byeeee.

I is sick

2010-04-01T01:08:00.000+08:00

I'm waiting for my rice porridge to boil/cook so I might as well update a little here. Actually I'm sick. Sick as in ill. The weather here has apparently gone crazy. First it was all sunshine and hopping bunnies and the next thing you know, its 2 degrees and snow is again on its way. The abrupt change in temperature is not kind to a person like me, who is kinda used to a steady hot climate all year round. Hence, the severe case of the sniffles. This time around, there is no warm mummy to rely on for a warm cup of tea or a yummy bowl of rice porridge. No mummy to force me to take the awful pills and rest my tired body.

I know, I'm like 25 and I still yearn for all that? Its true that you don't know what you have till its gone. So here I am, making my own rice porridge, forcing awful pills down my throat and hugging myself to keep warm. Sad, eh. At least I have some friends here who care whether I'm still alive or not. For that I am most thankful.

Ok, I'm rambling here. I'd better go check my porridge. I miss my mummy.

The end of March

2010-03-28T01:30:00.000+08:00

The end of march is drawing near. Time flies by when you're having fun, or not. Whether you're homesick, or you're loving your new place and friends, it just flies by. Next thing you know, March is ending and this blog has been filled with not just cobwebs but various viagra ads generally known as SPAM.

Anyway, I am glad to say that I've pretty much settled in. I'm here to study, thus study I do. I go to the faculty every week for the study group, meet my sv every two weeks and discuss my submissions and go to the library once in a while to borrow books. I don't study at the library because its always crowded with hyper young people with no intention to actually study. So most of the time I'm in my room, reading deep into the night or most of the time, into the morning. So far, I'm making progress with my research and I'm pretty happy.

Thats my main supervisor's book. My main reference for now. Brilliant bloke btw.

My main read before I go to bed. Which makes me have weird research nightmares all the time. Imagine dreaming about methodology in black and white. I know, I can't comprehend any of that either. Maybe I should read something lighter before bed.

This is where I have my study group sessions. Relaxed atmosphere, a cup of tea and long hours of discussion. Too long sometimes.sigh.

But I don't just study of course. I spend time chilling out with my new friends. They are an awesome bunch of people, easy, carefree and young. Oh, how very, very young. 18,19, 20!. In my postgrad study group, I'm the youngest by far. I feel so inexperienced and childish when I'm with them, especially those with two/three masters and 30 years work experience but with my friends, I feel ancient. I know the realities of working life and the rat race out there while they are having insane crushes on diamond skinned vampires.

Since I've left all my brothers at home, I've adopted a new one. Introducing my new little brother here, Aqil. He is extremely hyper and loves to burp. Thank you.

The one playing doodle jump is Syabil. He is a great cook. The couple on his right is Azura and Faiz. Azura is taking her LLM here so at least I have some mature stuff to talk about with someone sometimes.

These are the two e/izzahs. Izzah is really pandai. Eza is pandai too and is just the correct height that I can comfortably rest my arms on her shoulders (which I love to do) which makes her my fav.

Whatever it is, I often yearn for the company of those my age. Where we quarter-century old girls would moan about how much marriage costs these days or discuss the merits of changing jobs when you're still young. When I go out shopping, I wanna notice a cute 'man' together, not some acne ridden teen who happens to look like taylor f***ing werewolf. When I hang out with the older crowd, I cringe when they talk about their children marrying, or how to take a second mortgage on your house. An invitation to play golf is also not anywhere near my list of interesting things. So yeah, I really miss my friends back home sometimes. Like really.

Happy Birthday to Zakiah! I really miss you guys here, more than you can possibly guess. Please la download skype and borak with me!

And yes, I also miss minmin and syak. korang pon tolongla download skype!

I also like to go to town, with or without company. I like to browse through the pretty tops at DP or pick out a new thing at bodyshop. I don't often buy stuff (cam tipu je kan) unless there's a really good bargain (which there often is).

Thats pretty much what I've been up to these days. Studying mostly. Nama pon amek Phd kan, its definitely not a walk in the park.

For the next post, I'm going to put up pictures of the pretty flowers currently blooming by the hundreds here in campus. I might also put up pictures of bunnies and cute duckies before they all disappear. I also want to put up pictures of me having a great time shopping (scholarship baru masuk..woohoo!) but lets not get too ambitious here as I do not know when I have time to do a new post.

April, definitely. Promise.

p/s- this 29th

Happy birthday to my littlest sister Aishah! wish i could be there to celebrate!

pp/s- just wanted to show u guys the chicken donor (kebab) i sometimes order here. underneath the tender chicken, theres a lot of yummy chips. Its really good!

ppp/s- picture to show abrar since she doesnt have a facebook no more..boohoo..

Ok, take care everyone!

First day of class

2010-02-10T03:41:00.000+08:00

I woke up today at 5am, a vast improvement I'd say. These past few days I've been waking up at 12 midnight. My body clock was still tuned in to Malaysian time and refused to change until I slow talked to myself last night (nampaknye berkesan!).

Anyway, I woke up real hungry as I didn't have any dinner and my lunch was mi sedap 2 bungkus (mmg sedap but not exactly substantial stuff) . So I quickly showered and got ready. At about 8 (yes, it takes me a long time to get ready, so what?!) I made my way to Rutherford College Dining Hall.

Along the way, I noticed that the sun was shining! It lifted my spirits up as the past two days were hell. Sleet and rain plus snow, I nearly packed my bags and left *awkward laugh*. Ehem.

Look at that beautiful view..I love you sun!

Here you are again!

At Rutherford, I grabbed some scrambled eggs, croissant, cereal, baked beans, juice, milk, fried egg and bread, heaped them onto a tray for 3 pounds. Sila jangan convert!!!!

Then went to class, Research Methods. Made some new friends. Learned some new things. After class went back to my room. Had Chicken Tikka Curry with Rice for lunch (sounds so canggih padahal...tasteless!). At 3 went back to school for the study group. Listened to a presentation and learned a lot of new stuff too.

At about 5 session finished. I went to the shop and bought an umbrella. Weather forecast says that theres gonna be some really rainy days ahead so better be prepared.

So, how did my first day of class go? Well, not bad I think. It looks like I'm a little behind as all of them started in October. I really need to get my focus and rhythm going. Its just that I haven't really settled everything yet including my bank account, accommodation fees and stuff. And thats like some heavy baggage on my shoulders. But iA this Friday I can settle everything.

Oh, this Saturday I'm going to London to meet Apan! Yeay!!! We'll go shopping and it'll be good to have a good friend to talk to. I'm starting to get a lil lonely here. I skype with the family but when you're used to yapping all the time and bergoss sana sini,with your friends, its kinda hard to get used to being alone all the time. Ni baru 6 days here *gulp*. Adeh.

Take-off and arrival

2010-02-08T09:55:00.000+08:00

Its 1 am and I'm supposed to be soundly asleep right now. However, after 3 days here, I'm still trying so hard to adjust my inner clock to not wake up at 12 midnight, which would be 8 am in Malaysia, but is failing terribly. Its weird because at home, I never wake up at 8 am!!! The irony is killing me!!!

My eyes get really heavy about 4 in the evening and the next thing you know, I'm under the duvet. It does not help that by 5 pm the skies are totally dark here. Nope, no help at all.

Anyway, lets backtrack for a while. My flight to London was at 1155 pm. My girlfriends and family (harusla kan) came by to see me off. My luggage was 6 kg overboard so I had to sacrifice some precious Madam Sals and Brahims *tears*. The girls gave me a pink, fluffy scarf as a going away gift, for which I am so grateful for as the wind here would have chewed my face off if not for the scarf!

So when about 1120-ish, I said my tearful goodbyes to the family. I promised not to cry but failed. Wtv, right? Waited at the lounge for about 10 minutes, boarded the plane and sat next to a nice american couple. The 13 hour flight was boring. Watched Law Abiding Citizen (great movie btw..Gerard is so..righteous!), Just for Laughs (mesti nampak cam org gile gelak sorang2) and some episodes of 30 Rock.

I noticed that a lot of people (99% britons on that flight) were staring at me throughout the flight coz I wore a scarf on my head and they were probably afraid that I had a bomb hidden inside my anak tudung or something. That really pissed me off. Really really. I mean, I would understand if this were United Airlines but this was my country's airline and it would be reasonable to expect at least one malaysian citizen with a scarf on board, right? They eyed my heavy bags with suspicion and even watched me as I took off my shoes. Wah wah wahhhhhhh. Ko punya beg tu dah penuh satu compartment ada aku kisah? Ko cabut seluar tadi aku tak blink pon!Ko minum arak mcm minum air mineral 2 btl besar ada aku ckp apa2?!!! The nerve of some people. Didn't their moms teach them its rude to stare?! Next time, please don't bother coming to malaysia again and stay safe in your own damn house if you're so scared of muslims, ignorant buffoons!!!

Ok, ter-emo skjp. Fuhhhh~

Anyway, I arrived safely at Heathrow at about 525 am. Waited for 30 minutes for my luggage to appear. Passed the immigration with flying colours*hah!* and found the taxi driver waiting for me outside. Its about 7 c and freaking cold. After about an hour and a half's drive, arrived at Kent. Paid 75 pounds (oh duitkuuuuuu).

I completed my registration and got my keys. Got lost for 10 minutes trying to look for my room. Found my room at last and fainted on the bed. Woke up 5 minutes later, groggy and wondering where my luggage was! Remembered that I had left them at the registry earlier so went to pick them up.

Later in the evening, this nice lady at the counter (Kim) offered to drop me off at Asda (mcm Tesco) when I asked her whether she could rent me a duvet so I don't freeze to death that night. Went to Asda, and spent 4 hours there. 4 hours!!! I can't begin to tell you how cheap everything is here. The food, toiletries, bedding, clothes, perfumes etc. Suffice to say that my budget of 150 quid was more than enough to buy me everything I needed and more. I just spent about a hundred (trick is, don't convert. If you do, you will end up fainting or vomiting blood when handing over the money.not the best way to represent your country, yah)

The choices of food n drinks here are astonishing! I will post more pictures later so that everyone can salivate and wish they were here too.lol

I've got loads more to tell. My meeting with Bill, my supervisor. My hall and room. The uni and Canterbury. But I'm getting a bit sleepy (yeay?) and I haven't got enough pictures yet.

My pretty little bed

My rooms is in the grey building- Tyler Court C

View from my window

Can you see the spire of the huge Canterbury Cathedral?

Tomorrow, I will be having lunch with Kak Mariani (my colleague). It'll be nice having someone to talk to at last, been talking to myself and the family (skype) for too long! and hopefully she'll be showing me the bus routes and stuff. I need to open up a bank account and buy a cellphone too.

I will also take more pictures *promise* and post them up later.

Until then, I miss everyone at home (ayat apa ni). I'm settling in fine and please add me at skype- jinan mohd pauzi so that I won't go all loony here.

Take care ebribadi.

Farewells and a whole lot of food

2010-02-02T00:37:00.000+08:00

Last week was filled with farewells and food!

First, went for some coffee with Zakiah on Friday morning. I had my fav drink, caramel frap and some yummy chicken finger sandwiches for breakfast.

*smacks lips*

We both took pictures of ourselves taking pictures of each other using our (same type) cameras..pening tak ayat?

Then friday lunch with beloved colleagues at the usual hangout place: Mines. We had pizza and I shopped a Lot, much to their shock and horror. Well, what can I say, I love shopping and going away to a foreign place for 3 years gives me the excuse I need.lol.

I loved the colour of Mas's scarf so much that I bought one exactly like hers yesterday..hihihi (gelak gedik)

Senyuman lebar! Bagus!

Thanks for the scarves peeps..luv y'all!

The farewell group hug...will really miss these people..it'll be prolly 5 years ++ till we can get together like this again..by that time maybe semua orang dah ada anak..omg!

Then during the evening, went out to Williams with the fuu gang.

Waiting for zakiah outside her house..

6 years and counting..take care my dearest friends

cutie pies (boleh ke panggil mcm tu)..haha..well, I hope the best for you guys too..take care!

the man himself- give it up for en William! *clapclap* but Faiden hates this guy, ckp dia sgt over..hahahaha (tp mmg pon)..

Sheela, you are a BB addict!

My mango laichi special..gile sedap!

zakiah's ribena laici (more like cordial anggur je)

Carbonara meatballs..emm, ok la..but could be cheesier

Nasi goreng thai with soft shelled crab + extra rice..this was the best dish..sungguh sedappppp

The most expensive dish- super supreme..lamb chop, ayam pandan, mashed potatoes, roast beef, beef salami..RM50!!!! (Is it worth it? For me, definitely not!)

The second most delicious dish- cheese naan. OMG.OMG.you should try it.really cheesy and the dips are marvelous..

I swore my scarf was dark pink but they kept saying that it was purple!

They were so sweet. Sweet as the birthday cake. Sweeter in fact.

Aktiviti wajib: Goss

i see u!

peace yo!

Thanks minmin for the gift and card!!!!

Us girls

Then last Sunday, my family held a Kenduri Doa Selamat for me.

Food!

Satay!

oranges n bananas

So overall, all the goodbyes have been said. Blessings have been also been made. I've cleaned out my office today and said goodbye to the faculty/staff.

Now its time to pack, furiously! And do some more last minute shopping. And pick up my year's supply of contacts. I have about less then 2 more days left to do all this. Chaiyok~!!!!!

Today in pictures

2010-01-28T23:40:00.001+08:00

First went shopping. Got myself a gorgeous clutch that had many useful compartments in it to store tickets, bank drafts, passport and all the tiny documents thats too important to stuff in a folder. Guess had this at 50% discount!Woohoo~

Then went out for lunch at Kenny's with former colleagues. They gave me a wonderful scrapbook *tears*. Thanks guys. It was really fun hanging out together like we used to, bitching about the boss. eventhough we all have different bosses now.lol. I forgot just how much I missed being part of a large group until I was with you guys again.

Then went to UPM to get my ticket and settle my allowance payment. They wanted to lump everything into a bank draft (GBP) whih wouldn't do at all so I told them to separate my book, appliances, warm clothing and settlement allowance into a separate bank draft in RM so that I can choose how much loose cash/traveler's cheque I want bring. I need some cash in hand when I go, to pay for little2 stuff along the way (taxi fare etc).

But enough chatter, this is supposed to be a picture post so here goes...

Lunch: Kenny Rogers Alamanda

Thanks En din for coming all the way from KL, and En Rushdan from Shah Alam

HURIO: Human Rights & International Organizations Section...when the times get tough, it morphes into HURUHARA...but we always had each other to lean on, so it wasn't that bad, eh..

Lastly,

My flight will be on the 3rd, 1155 pm...will arrive 545 am, 4th feb...

Pretty surreal, isn't it?

Another long day

2010-01-28T01:53:00.000+08:00

Well, technically, its already Thursday as I write this. But here's what happened today(Wed) anyway.

1) Went for my medical check-up at the UPM PK. Didn't have to pay anything since UPM is sponsoring me (jimat 100 ringgit!). Asked for an extra copy of the report + x-ray for Kent. Found out I had grown taller by 3 cm (wtf?was I not supposed to stop growing taller by 21 or something?), have perfect eyesight (sbb pakai contacts, mmg la perfect kan?) and was fit as a fiddle. The young doctor (nampak mcm fresh grad je) asked me if I had any fake teeth (=_=") and poked me for half an hour, trying to find my kidneys (ouch!). Took me all morning to get everything settled although I kept thinking about that fake teeth question and its relevancy in a medical check-up. And for those who are still wondering, I don't have fake teeth ok!!!Every original tooth is intact. Hell, I even have a few baby teeth left. wtv.

2) After that, went to collect all the 5 agreements from my penjamins (parents la sape lagi) and saksi, stuck an RM10 setem hasil on each of them and went to LHDN in Hentian Kajang to ~~endorse~~ put them to death (matikan setem-literal translation). Then went to photocopy my IC. Thank god that all that took me about an hour and i headed back to UPM. Isi angin tayar n gas along the way. Noticed that the car badly needed a carwash n wondered what will happen to it when I'm gone. Who will take care of it? Satisfy its need for speed in its never ending search for the perfect racing companion? Who will shower it with water once its fiery red body turns pinkish or take it to the car wash when that fails to improve things? Who?!! *tears roll down face for 3 seconds before realizing that I am actually a pretty bad/dangerous car owner so maybe its for the best*

3) Around 2, I ~~illegally~~ parked at the roadside near the Registrar's office and went up to the third floor. Kak R and I went through all the documents one by one to ensure that there were no mistakes. Actually, I ended up questioning quite a few clauses in the agreement (can't help it- my mind went all legal-crazy) and they had to call up one of the lawyers to clarify. Having satisfied my 'curiosity' (well, not really. they just told me point blank: take it or leave it sistah!), Kak R neatly stacked up my documents and that was that. I had agreed to serve UPM for 5 years (it could have been worse: uitm wanted 10 years for one year of sponsorship!) after completing my studies in return for 3 years sponsorship. Kak R informed me that I could probably get my allowances by Friday and shooed me out before I could ~~interrogate~~ question her on why Kent was rated C and not B or when was the last time the list was updated etc.

4) On the way back home, the Bendahari called to inform me that my ticket will be ready for pick-up tomorrow (thursday) or latest by Friday.

5) At home, received additional accommodation info that I have to arrive between 9am to 1pm as the office will be open for registration only during that time. Also surveyed for transport from the airport to kent. Called up granny n aunty in kelantan to say bye-bye before I forget yet again. Now, babbling all this here when I should be sleeping.

And what are my plans for Thursday?

- Settle the income tax waiver (borang sgt complicated n pening nak isi n kaler bright orange.benci)

- Finish the enrollment process (been delaying because I'm so lazy to scan a passport pic)

- Go to Czip Lee and buy stationary (sejak keje ni tak penah beli stationary)

- Lunch with AG peeps! Lama sungguh tak jumpe so can't wait!

- Evening- pick-up ticket if dah siap

- Night- email the supervisors to update n make an appointment *gulp*

Hmm...agak ambitious jugak nak finish all those things. Hopefully will be able to do all of them coz Friday is a short day yg akan di penuhi dengan gelak ketawa farewell parties (note: parties) at Williams and Mines, and persediaan for a small kenduri this saturday (details will be dished out later).

Ok, I really need some sleep now, or else will wake up with nasty panda eyes tomorrow. Bye.

What a day!

2010-01-26T17:34:00.000+08:00

You know whats worse than having to rush all over the campus to book my ticket, get my agreement forms and photocopy tons of stuff ? Its when you have to teach a two hour class, filled with science students, about common law and equity. I was given a day to prepare the slides and to prepare myself mentally, since its been about 6 years since I last studied that stuff and it was my first time teaching.

I'm happy to report that I managed. Quite splendidly, I think. My ticket has been booked (3rd February), my agreement is on my desk (a lot of writing to be done tonight) and the class went really well, despite the fact that the Dean was sitting at the back watching me like a hawk. Oh, and I accidentally pointed my laser pointer in the dean's eye (thank god he wore glasses!), stumbled a bit on the riparian rights part (I kept saying reptilian) and called the students "korang" a few times (more than 20 times) but aside from that, my first teaching experience was awesome!! They (dean included) had tons of questions although their unusual (and unhealthy) interest about marriage/divorce laws was kinda weird.

Overall, I'm pooped. I slept at 4 last night, finishing those slides and my mom keeps ~~nagging~~ asking me to pack my bag already. All I want to do is rest but I can't. My mom's right, I have about a week left and I have to rush, rush, rush!

Ok, my mom's calling for me downstairs...see ya later alligators!~

I was sad...

2010-01-25T22:37:00.000+08:00

that my birthday passed by unnoticed by those that matter to me...Its not that I demand presents or gifts...but perhaps I want my special day to be you know...special. I wanted to spend it with my family and close friends. It is after all, a once in a year event. Is it too much to expect a birthday cake without having to ask for it? Is it too much to ask for a phone call instead of a simple facebook post or sms as if...you can't really be bothered? Apparently, it was indeed too much to ask and I am sorry.

I now realize that perhaps I expected too much from everyone. I expected that people would treat you the same way you treated them. If you remember and go through elaborate plans in order to make their special day a memorable one, is it not logical that you would expect the same when your time comes? In a perfect world, that would happen. But its not a perfect world, is it? Sometimes things defy comprehension and logic. Thinking about it will only cause hurt, anger and a lot of pain. It also makes you sound so pathetic. So why bother?

Its definitely not the greatest way to start a year. But I guess its time to move on. After all, nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.

So my scholarship agreement is waiting for the Registrar's awesome signature. Why awesome? Coz my whole future depends on the strokes of his mighty pen. If that isn't awesome, then I don't know what is.

I also told the peeps involved to book my flight on the 3rd. It means that I have about 8 days left. Everything major is pretty much settled: visa, accommodation, transport from Heathrow to Canterbury. The Dean has also imparted his pre-departure words of wisdom (for the third time) to me this morning. I think he keeps forgetting hes already told me all that stuff before. Twice. I've bought all the necessary things except food and stationary. All i need to do is to get the agreement settled, get my ticket and allowance, do a bit more shopping, do a lil' doa selamat and I'm good to go.

I'm pretty happy now. I can't wait to begin the next phase of my life and get my doctorate as fast as I can. Along the way, who knows if I get lucky and come home as a wife? Or if I may come back at all *gasp*? Anything can happen in 3 years time. I am after all (having experienced this on my birthday), in charge of my own happiness. And that, is a very bitter pill to swallow.

p/s- As this is a personal ranting, I've disabled the comments. I just need to get all this out of my chest. Then I can forgive, and hopefully, forget.

of room rents and pants on the ground

2010-01-15T15:44:00.001+08:00

So, my accommodation is confirmed. Now I have the privilege of paying RM2120 (388 GBP) a month to stay in an average-sized room with an attached bathroom...

And I'll be sharing a kitchen with 6 other floormates...

Of course I wanted that studio room with my own huge bathroom and pretty kitchen inside but paying RM2700 (480 GBP) a month is just outside my budget. In fact, even the room I have now is outside my budget as UPM only pays max RM1898 (345GBP) per month for rent, which of course is quite ridiculous as the only room with that kinda price will be if I share a house outside with 10 other strangers. But aside from just knowing only 2 strangers in Kent, staying in the uni for the first year is very important and my room is the cheapest there is. Maybe I'll move out next year or as soon as I find somewhere nicer and meet 8 other strangers. But thats getting way ahead of myself here. Lets see how the first year goes, eh.

I'm also in the last stages of my visa application. Now that I have my accommodation settled, hopefully I can settle everything else by next week. I have not yet booked a ticket and plan to do so as soon as my visa is done. My aim is to go before my parents fly off to the states on 4th Feb. I was thinking of 31st Jan but it depends on whether UPM can give me my allowance by that time. Hmm, what other preparations have I done? Lets see..

I'm buying a MacBook Pro (bye-bye virus!hah!)

and

thanks to zakiah's and my mom's recommendations, have bought a new camera (to take gorgeous photos of me in ~~Paris~~ Kent).

Luggage, some winter clothing, rice cooker, food, meds and all that will be bought next week. I've got a helluva long list and am really looking forward to some major shopping sessions. Since I'll be gone for 3 years, I need to clean up my office and my room at home. All that can be done next week I think. Oh, I also need to settle my banking stuff, stock up my 1 TB harddisk with movies/tv series, photocopy some books and not to mention all the documentation that needs attention!

Ok, enough about all that. Next, is..brace yourself..pants on the ground!!!! Yupp,you heard me. It's the new internet hit song by Larry Platt (American Idol). For you guys who don't know what I'm babbling about, you've gotta see here. Enjoy the song and have a great weekend everyone!

p/s- heres the lyrics in case you might want to sing along (-_-'')

American Idol - Larry Platt - Pants On The Ground

Full Lyrics

Pants on the Ground
Pants on the Ground
Lookin Like a Fool With Your Pants on the Ground
With the Gold in Ya Mouth
Hat Turned Sideways
Pants Hit the Ground
Call Yaself a Cool Cat
Lookin Like a Fool
Walkin Downtown With Your Pants on the Ground
Get 'em Up...Hey!

Get Your Pants off the Ground
Lookin Like a Fool
Walkin, Talkin With Your Pants on the Ground
Get 'em Up! Hey!

Glee

2010-01-10T13:38:00.000+08:00

My newest obsession is Glee. In fact, I'm now what everyone calls a "gleek". After puking through the 3 high school musical 'movies', I was initially very skeptical of musicals concerning american high school kids dancing in their hallways and classrooms. But Glee changed that. I now look forward to see them belt out numbers, smash car windows, throw slushi at the loser kids and whatever else these american hormone-ridden teens do at school. Glee is everything HSM should have been- meatier with a diverse cast with real vocal chops (unlike baby V *cringe*). The songs and choreography = fantastic, with classics like Journey's 'Don't stop believing' and Wicked's 'Defying Gravity" to Kanye's 'Gold Digger' and 'The Thong Song'.

It does help that there's a super-cute teacher (who looks barely past college), the Shues-ter, with a voice like melted buttermilk cookies and the moves of a 16 year-old. His store-permed hair, emerald eyes and lithe bod really makes you wonder why your teachers never looked like that. It would definitely make learning fun.I mean, if I had a teacher like that during high school, I think it would cause a massive riot-hysteria, probably ending up with something burning, ripped clothing, a couple locks of shimmering red hair and JAWI officers. Nasty, but fun.

Anywayyy, Glee is pretty darn good. For HSM haters and lovers alike, this series will make you wanna dance and sing till the cows come home. You get to see Josh Groban (hilarious!) and soon- Adam Lambert guest starring. You get to see a gay boy (and his team) kicking the pigskin to the tune of single ladies (reminds me of a certain ~~Gay~~JoBro). You get to see a blond Juno (president of the celibacy club?!), a Mohawked Jew boy toy (meoww) and Asians (Big Gasp!). You get teachers who deal marijuana and have so much personality disorders between them that you wonder how these kids are learning anything at all. Really.

Just go and watch an episode or two, and you'll be hooked for sure. If you don't like it, something is seriously wrong with you. Just sayin'.

Ok, first post for 2010 done. Yeay!

Bye peeps. Will update more about my preparations soon. Tomorrow is gonna be a busy day. Oh, to all the church-burners out there, one word- IDIOTS! WTF is wrong with you people. But ..I also smell a rat somewhere in this issue. Remember V for Vendetta? Hmm...good movie. You guys should watch it and wonder why its banned here. Wtv.

To be happy

2009-12-31T18:55:00.001+08:00

As 2009 draws to a close, most of us are probably reflecting back on the year that was. The good, the bad, the ugly. We make new resolutions, based on these reflections, in the hope that the next year will a better year.

So what do I have to reflect?

The major event amongst the many that coloured my year was the job change, I guess. Gone were all the late hours, stressful working environment and dealing with national security issues. Gone were the punchcards, MOUs and chic suits. Instead, I go to work everyday in a demure kurungs and the only stress I feel is when I'm dealing with the Registrar or when deciding where to go for lunch.Haha.

People have asked me often "Do you ever regret your decision to quit". They say to me "Don't you miss the glamour?" These people sometimes cannot understand why I stopped working at one of the best places a law graduate can work. Well, to answer this, no I don't have any regrets. The most important thing I learned is that your happiness is what counts. Even if you've got the best job in the world (like the guy taking care of Hamilton Island), but if you don't feel happy, then whats the point?

The rest of 2009 was mainly spent on my efforts to obtain a place and scholarship for my phd studies and I am happy that these efforts finally bore fruit. There were plenty of weddings and also a funeral. My first taste of death was a harrowing experience and I'll always feel that tiny jolt in my heart everytime I see a grey saga whizzing by. And I wonder, do we ever get over the death of a loved one?

In 2009, I also fell in and out of love with two really nice guys. Brief romances and I got to know myself a little better too. I now know that I'm not that ready to commit, still scarred by a previous relationship and very afraid to take the plunge. I've managed to suppress the ticking of my biological clock with thoughts about phd, but I can sense that one day soon, the alarm will go off and this time, the snooze button won't be there.

Ok, I think the reflections part is done. Overall, I can say that 2009 is one of the best years of my life so far.

Next on the menu, 2010. Resolutions?

A lot. From the biggies: to do well in my first phd year. To keep in touch with all my friends. To find love again. To be a better daughter, sister and muslimah. To be more financially wise. To the smallies: to stop playing mafia wars. To brush up on my Korean. To travel somewhere awesome. To blog more consistently. To drive more carefully. Like I said, a lot.

But most of all, in 2010 my resolution is to be happy- isn't that the thing that all of us strive to find and keep?

With that, see you guys next year. Enjoy the long weekend and Happy New Year everyone!

Sherlock...

2009-12-26T18:20:00.000+08:00

Holmes was awesome!!

You guys should go see it.Really.Really really.

Just came back from Mines. Went to Jusco Equinne (sp?) first, to survey huge luggage bags. Wanted to look for Samsonite but turned out that they stopped selling them there. So the parents went to kenduri kahwin and us kids went to Mines to catch a movie and some grub. Oh, and I bought 3 shawls in various shades of creamy orange just coz I forgot the exact colour of my kurung moden. This is the first time I have anything in orange, hence no matching shawls. I actually detest orange and brown clothing but this batik had butterflies drawn on them, which matches with the butterfly necklace mom n maryam bought in korea, so I absolutely had to grab it. But I'm rambling here.Overall, a rather productive day. Tomorrow will be heading off to Janda Baik for Syaheed's wedding. Can't wait to meet the girls and share all the goss.haha.

Ok, raining outside. Optimum condition for a lil shut eye.toodles~

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T09:58:00.006+08:00

Jingle Bells,
Batman Smells,
Robin laid an egg,
Batmobile lost a wheel
and Joker took ballet, hey!

I remember when I used to sing that song every Christmas with my friends when I was small. Christmas was so much fun, the mat salleh neighbours would give us presents like books and toys. I especially loved the books. I was an avid reader and would squeal with joy every time I got a new book. I also remember the snow. It wasn't really Christmas if it didn't snow. And in Boston, boy did it snow. With my friends, we would make huge snowmen and pretty snow angels together. We would have snowball fights until our teeth chattered from the cold.

In school, there would be all sorts of yummy Christmas cookies and cute gingerbread men given out by the teacher. We would all listen to her telling us how Santa would give presents to only nice kids while we quietly munched on the cookies dipped in cold milk. We would sometimes make a list of what we wanted and I would always made sure I included a book in my wish list. Yes, nerdy me. During nap time after that, I would whisper quietly with Ming Chee and Kimberly, my two best friends, about what each of us wrote in our list. I remember that they would always have Barbies and dolls in their list. And then during recess, we would play hopscotch in the snow and see who could jump furthest. These Christmas memories are among the best memories I have of my childhood.

So 17 or so years later, here I am. The tv is on, blaring Jingle Bells for the 20th time. Outside, the monsoon wind is blowing. Soon, I'm going to have to go out and get some lunch for the siblings before sending them off for Friday prayers. Today, one of my best friends is getting hitched. In about a month, I'll be off to a foreign land to study for a phd. Sigh~

I wish I could go back in time for a while, to the days when I would be whispering quietly to Ming Chee and Kimberly about my Christmas wish and then sing our version of Jingle Bells on top of our lungs later.

Merry Christmas everyone, and a Happy New Year.

Holidayyy

2009-12-24T08:44:00.004+08:00

I'm on a very long break, until 4th January! It feels great to wake up late (even though I wake up late everyday anyway) and not have to get ready for work. Yesterday I went to pick up my new glasses and bought some new contacts to go with the new power. They're from Ciba Vision called Aqua Optix something. The promoter recommended me to try them as they're 'breathable'. Can't wait to try them on!

Hope they're better than the ones I'm wearing now (B&L)

I'm thinking of getting a new camera and laptop, both will likely burn my wallet to cinders. I'm thinking also of not getting just any lappie but a macbook or a high end viao. I'm now using my dad's old high-end viao (meaning it was high end when he bought it like 5 yrs ago) and its still performing marvelously despite me downloading and stuff so I kinda like viao. But the sis and mom has problems with their viao, the fan died or something. So far, my parents who have gone over to the other side and bought macs recommended me to do the same. Hmm, decisions decisions..

As for the camera, the dad is all pumped up to help me purchase a semi-pro. Siap nak tolong belikan lagi (and I repay him of course..chiss) And a few other friends also told me to get one of these. The problem is, its so ugly! hahaha. That is, compared to the new sony point-n-shoot ones which comes in many bright colours (I only care for the pink one!) and its so slim and nice and pretty and trendy and fits in your wallet and its not quite as expensive and did i mention its soooo pretty? I did? But it is!!. Both my parents have semi-pros and I've used them. The pictures that come out are super best! But still....argh..its..bulky. Gonna think about this some more.

OMG!! shanteknyeee..

God, I'm sneezing my head off. Got the sniffles and my throat is all clogged up with you-know-what. What a great way to start the holidays, eh. I'd better go and find some pills and some breakfast, I am starving! I can hear the dad (who is also on vacay) downstairs hopefully fixing us something to eat? Let me check...........

No, he's just banging the pots to wake us all up. damn.

Ok, better go down before the dad reaches for that pail of water. take care people!

p/s- Avatar was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally!

2009-12-23T12:06:00.002+08:00

My scholarship application has finally been given the big nod. So peeps, I'll be busy the next few weeks in preparation for my PhD journey. It's been a grueling road so far, filled with obstacles, frustrations and false hope. But Alhamdullilah, everything turned out well.

I'm now overwhelmed with feelings. Happiness and most of all, relief tinged with a bit of excitement.

I going to UK y'all!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

E-mails and the CV

2009-12-09T09:10:00.011+08:00

Yesterday me and some colleagues were going through some application forms for entry into our masters and phd programs. There were also some who requested for job posts in the faculty. It was quite interesting to see all the resumes. However, there was this one guy who had good credentials and was more than qualified. The only problem was, his email...this 34 year old certified chemist asked us to contact him at dikcerdas@*****.com

OK. Me and my colleagues laughed so hard we could hardly stand up! After wiping his tears of mirth, the boss decided to just put the application in the k.i.v. box. He said that it portrayed the guy as immature and unprofessional.

So that got me thinking about the significance of e-mail addresses we put into our CV today. Where once e-mails were used primarily by geeks and techno wizards, it has now evolved to become the second most commonly used after snail mail and is extensively used today. It takes barely a minute to set up an e-mail account and its really rare today to find someone who doesn't have at least one email account.

Now, I don't think it matters what your e-mail is as its your right to create anything you fancy, be it adikmanja@yahoo.com or iluvtosleep@gmail.com. Its your e-mail and its your life. BUT, when it comes to job applications, I think that proper e-mails are very important. E-mails, like all the other personal information on your CV, will be scrutinized and judged. Your e-mail will give an impression on what type of person your are.

Takde kaitan but its funny!

For example, emails based on nicknames, which is probably the most common type of email today. However, one must be very careful when including it in the CV. if your e-mail is a nickname like ogy or fifi or ajai, this gives the employer a sense of informality, a sense that you are not afraid to divulge personal information to strangers. Some employers might like it, especially if you're applying for a job relating to arts. But in most cases, using a nickname for your e-mail may backfire and be seen as not professional.

Another example is the usage of cartoon or fictional characters. I knew a girl who used to love sailormoon. Her e-mail was something like sailormooncrazy@something.com. After years and years of using the same e-mail, she abruptly changed it. When I asked her about it, she confided in me that a company executive secretly told her that the ONLY reason she wasn't shortlisted for the company's job interview because her e-mail sounded too childish, compared to the other applicants. I've personally seen CVs which contains e-mails like supermanmelayu@&*&*.com, mashimarocute@*&*&.com and narutoforever@*&*&.com. Would you take in someone with these kinda emails? What picture does it convey? Certainly not professional.

Sailormoon..

Other examples of e-mails are those that depict a certain trait or hobby. These e-mails can give the employer a clear picture of you. Do you think they will be impressed with e-mails sounding like sayangabang@&*&.com, gadiscun@&*&.com, britneydiehardfan@&*&*.com or lawyerhappy@&*&.com. These traits are not the ones that employers are looking for. They will distract the one reading the CV and give the wrong impression. Even if you managed to obtain a first class degree in Oxford, got tons of relevant working experience and have awesome references, the sight of your babycuteypieluvsronaldo@somewhere.com e-mail would just ruin the perfect candidate image you're trying to convey through the CV.

And what about hobbies? warcraftforever@&*&.com would surely convey the message that this person loves playing warcraft, the most addictive MMORPG in the world, and might not be suitable for a job that demands maturity, leadership and commitment even after regular office hours. Even though the applicant is fully qualified and shows all these traits through other information in his CV, his e-mail can negate all this and convey a totally different picture.

People have turned into living zombies playing this.

The point is, a lot of people forget that people will judge you by your e-mail address. Its perfectly fine if you use it for informal purposes but when you include the e-mail in your CV, the e-mail will be a part of the total package you are trying to sell. An improper e-mail address will distract the future employer and convey an unwanted/unwarranted message.

You know it, Simon!

Then, whats the best e-mail address to use? I asked around and this is what I got:

1) If you have a job already, state the official e-mail. For example fatih@bankislam.com.

2) If you're using the normal sites like gmail, yahoo or hotmail, try using your full name. Using your common sense, try to make it look formal and professional, yet not too long or too stiff like professormadyadrwho@lala.com.

3) Try to avoid long numbers and weird spelling. Make it easy to type and remember.

Thus, I hope all of us can reflect back on our own e-mails, whether it conveys the right message to people when we use it to communicate. If not, then go ahead and create a new one. After all, its free and the two minutes you invest can save you from hours of future embarrassments.

Wouldn't want to end up like this guy, right?!

Back to civilization

2009-11-23T22:43:00.003+08:00

I'm back from Taiping and Balik Pulau (BP). Skin is definitely darker, muscles are aching (screaming with pain!) and I'm dead tired. I wanna sleep for a week and my brain needs time to recover from the intense washing it was put through. ha ha.

While I was gone, Kelantan and Terengganu apparently went scuba diving and my room has been transformed into a bachelor pad by my holiday-ing brothers. My phone, which has been dead to the world for 5 days due to the remoteness of BP, is going crazy, vibrating every minute with incoming messages. The inbox is full of unread mail and I'm not going to work tomorrow (EL).

Downstairs, my brothers are bickering and my dad is on the phone. I can hear Spongebob's sengau voice competing with the neighbours' cats, who are at it yet again.

Its good to be home.

Packing...

2009-11-15T18:39:00.005+08:00

Thats what I'm supposed to do right now. Tomorrow morning going to Taiping for the field trip. On Wednesday morning, from Taiping I'll be off to Penang by bus. Will be staying at Aunty Muni's house overnight. Then Friday to next Monday - BTN.

So basically I have to pack for one whole week. I've shopped for last minute stuff yesterday, like track bottoms and long-sleeved t-shirts. I've 3 white baju kurungs + three black kain kurungs, two white blouses + 2 black skirts all folded up nicely like a pile of cicak poo. I've put aside a gayung, some toiletries, an iron, hangers, socks, underthings, sunblock, insect repellent, scarves, anak scarves, an assortment of t-shirts and pants and a bit of this and that. All of it is in a huge heap on the floor, untouched. I've been staring at them for quite some time now. All this stuff reminds me of the good old days, when it was time to go back to tkc after a long holiday. Kinda depressing so decided to update the old blog.

I have mixed feelings about all this. The weather forecast for both Taiping and Penang states that thunderstorms will be the main menu for the week ahead. Hence, I'm already dreading all that rain and wetness (thank god for crocs!). And my feelings about btn? don't get me started. Fear, nervousness and excitement. I'm not a big fan of the wilderness. Its so...wild. Always hated going camping, getting bitten by bugs and getting dirty. I also intensely dislike being rushed, prodded, brainwashed and bullied (had enough of that at tkc, tqvm). But BTN is also the final 'procedural' step I have to take before I go to Kent so there is a sense of anticipation and excitement. Plus, I'm looking forward to meeting new friends and 'network'. As a final consolation note, as a government servant, I will have to go to BTN sooner or later so might as well be sooner.

Ok, I think that I'm finally ready to start packing. See you guys in a week!**

**By that time, I'll have definite confirmation on whether I'll be off to Kent this January as KPT's SLAB meeting is next Tuesday (17th). *anxious*

Penang, here I come

2009-11-11T13:33:00.004+08:00

Yesterday I got the official letter from BTN. I was informed earlier that I was going to the Ulu Sepri Camp in Rembau. So I was happily thinking of driving there since its not that far. I had it all planned out, even memorizing the roads and stuff.

But the fates once again dealt me a random card. The letter stated that I had to go to KEM BINA NEGARA BALIK PULAU, PULAU PINANG. I have nothing against Penang actually. Its a great negeri and all. But couldn't they have warned me earlier so I could make the necessary preparations? Ingat semua orang dok Penang ke.

Whatever la..So this evening I'm going to get my new white baju kurung (tak main la pakai baju skolah kann..) from my tailor and start making a checklist of stuff I need to bring. Now, I've heard TONS of stories about BTN, ranging from the very good to the downright ugly. So I don't really know what to believe right now. I'll just go and try to have fun, make new friends and take it all in as something that need to be done. So Penang, here I come!

On a side note, my new book has finally arrived! (Abrar kindly got it from me in the US and posted it last week.)Its the first part of the final three books of the Wheel of Time and its absolutely beautiful. The cover art is horrible (all of the books have ugly drawings of the characters) but its the fact that I've been waiting eons for this book and finally, its in my hands. With RJs death in 2007, it seemed that the series would be left hanging. I want to see what has Brandon Sanderson done with it. I want to get my grubby paws all over it and devour the whole thing tonight but I have too much stuff to settle. Maybe this weekend I can forget the real world and once again, live in Randland. Uuuuu. I can't wait!!

p/s- A big THANK YOU to dear Timmc who kindly helped out my sis in Melbourne. Thanks timmc :)

Alhamdulillah

2009-11-05T14:22:00.002+08:00

UPM has approved my study leave application this morning. The biggest hurdle dah lepas. Next stage is KPT's meeting next week (which 'someone' told me is just a formality.dunno if its true).

I can feel happy bubbles floating in my veins, lifting me up and dislodging most of the worries I've been carrying around these few months. I hope and continue to pray that it'll be smooth sailing from now on.

But first, Alhamdullilah.

where did it all go wrong?

2009-11-04T08:21:00.003+08:00

Girl,11, gives birth on wedding day

Kordeza...used to play with toys but now Violeta is her new toy

AN 11-year-old Bulgarian girl gave birth to a baby girl on the day she got married to her teenage boyfriend.

She was still wearing her flowing white dress and tiara when she arrived at hospital and gave birth to 2.49kg Violeta last week.

After spending the night with her newborn, Kordeza changed back into her wedding dress to finish the ceremony.

Jeliazko and Kordeza, hours before she gave birth

Her family couldn't be happier for their child bride - the youngest girl ever to give birth in in the city of Sliven where 13-year-old mums are routine.

With proud husband Jeliazko Dimitrov, 19, at her side, Kordeza told The News of the World: "It feels strange to be a mum and have a baby.

"I used to play with my toys but now she is my new toy. She is so beautiful, I love her. Violeta is the child and I must grow up. I am not going back to school - I am a mother now."

Kordeza met Jeliazko in the playground of her Roma gypsy school in Sliven, Bulgaria, when he rescued her from bullies.

The worried teenager - who is facing up to six years in prison for having sex with a minor recalled: "I was walking past the school when I saw some boys mocking her and I told them to leave her alone.

"Then she arranged to meet me and asked me out on our first date. I thought she was 15. She didn't tell me she was 11."

Kordeza giggled: "I didn't want to say in case he wouldn't fancy me."

The pair went on their first date to their local park then met at his mum Violeta's house near the gypsy ghetto where they both grew up.

But within a week of them meeting, their daughter was conceived.

Kordeza admitted: "I haven't had sex education classes and I didn't know how to get pregnant. I'd never had a boyfriend and I'd never heard of condoms.

"I didn't know I was pregnant until my grandmother saw I had put on weight. I just thought I'd eaten too many burgers."

* Photos source: News of The World

Published Nov 3 2009

-taken from here

It makes me sick thinking about 11 year olds giving birth. I mean thats too young! She thinks her new baby is a toy for god's sake. And look at her damn husband, he looks freaking 40, not 19! Muke gatal siut. He should definitely be prosecuted for having sex with a minor. And she should be prosecuted for being stupid.oopss.terlazer jap.

The weird thing is her parents are happy. Happy. Wtf. With movies like Juno, its no wonder these girls are thinking that its ok to get pregnant. Its kinda 'cool' ya know. And she thinks its high time to quit school just because 'she's a mother now'. and her parents are ok with this? her teachers? her society? her country????

I wonder, where did it all go wrong?

relief

2009-11-03T16:28:00.003+08:00

Submitted all the forms to pendaftar. Its such a relief to finally submit everything and knowing you've done all you could. The rest is up to the higher powers, both divine and earthly. The meeting for cuti belajar is scheduled this Thursday. Its been a hectic two days since I got the info. Rushing to photocopy certs, taking passport photos and asking for signatures. The emotional roller coaster doesn't help either. I'm exhausted, man.

Oh, btw, I'm not going to go in December. The SVs recommended that I start in January, at the beginning of the new term. December cuti Christmas and the office will be closed. It makes sense, plus I need to get my visa ready and all that takes time!

Oklah, I'm going home. Penat siut rushing here and there. More updates laterrrr..ciao.

PhD a.k.a. permanent head damage

2009-10-28T23:52:00.008+08:00

After sitting on the hard chair for 8 hours, your ass starts to really hurt, no matter how much 'natural cushion' you own. But today, the numbness of my butt paled in comparison with the numbness of my brain due to the deluge of information received about Phd. We had a forum where they called four recent phd graduates, both local n overseas, to share their experiences with us 'bakal-bakal' Phd students.

The first sister was only 25 years old, wearing the face of a 20 year old and a absolutely gorgeous necklace. She had just completed her phd in Sheffield last September. The second sister was a cute albeit very pregnant mother of three, graduated from Essex, also last September. The first brother just finished his Phd after 9 long years in UCL. The second brother graduated from upm recently.

All of them spoke about 'best and bad practices' during phd studies. Being from different backgrounds, they gave us an insight into what it means to be a "phd candidate".

Now, I've read a LOT about Phd. I've read about what it means, what I have to prepare, what to do in case of this or that, and I've even read Phd comics detailing the life of phd students in Stanford. I've spoken to tons of people who have finished their phd, from my parents to me colleagues. All the info was carefully stored in my brain, to be used later.

But since I knew that its a possibility that I may be going sooner than I thought I would, and that next year is just a few months away, the reality of what I was about to undertake hit me full in the face while I was driving home just now.

Suddenly, every word from the panelists seemed precious and important. Every memory of advice given is to be reexamined and dissected to the last detail. The more I thought about it, the more I panicked. I mean, I know I applied and got a place to study PHD. But it only sunk in today that I was about to commit 3 years of my life to a single cause, a single objective and aim.

I am going to dedicate these years of my life solely to research. And I'll be doing all this without the benefit of any research background. No masters and no undergraduate thesis writing experience. Nothing. And I'm going off to a foreign land, where God knows what can happen there.

With that thought, I nearly threw up and had to park at the side of the road for a while. Doubts the size of mountains warred with each other in my head, over the carcass of my shattered pseudo confidence. Dizzy, I closed my eyes for a moment to calm myself down. I realized that it was high time to face the fears that I had long shoved under that grubby carpet. So I picked up each negative thought and examined them.

I don't have any previous research experience, its true. But there are hundreds or maybe thousands of other people out there who don't and still can make it. I even know some, my mom one of them. So its actually a problem only if I consider it a problem. Plus, i have an excellent brain and more than enough zeal to fill two oceans. That surely counts as something, right.

Can I finish in 3 years? Did I make the right choice by choosing to go to UK? Did I pick the right topic and supervisors? So one by one, I acknowledged all my doubts. By previously ignoring them, I now realize that they were always there in my sub-conscience mind, gnawing at my spirit like tiny alien parasites in the x-files.

With every doubt assuaged, I felt my heart grow lighter and stronger. I could feel my shattered confidence heal to form a new, truer confidence. A confidence born out of the belief that I can, will and want do this. That I am equally qualified and that no matter what may come, I am capable of handling it.

Yes, all Phd holders have their own tales to tell of their phd years, of woe and sorrow, of hardships and pain. They talk about depression, divorce and diseases. But did they not tell also of the intense joy at the end of a successful viva, of the warm handshakes and the chorus of voices saying "Congratulations Dr."? Did they not show the proud gleam in their eyes when they talked about their research? Did they not walk with the confidence of one who had gone through hell and lived to tell the tale? They did and more.

Thus I will focus on the silver lining, not on the cloud. To be finally able to call myself Dr Jinan one day, that is the dream I must hold on to right now. It will be both my waking thought and sleeping draught for the next 3 years. Its gonna be a rough road ahead but I am ready. Permanent Head Damage? Bring it on.

I hate bombs

2009-10-27T19:16:00.003+08:00

Today I felt two major bombs explode in my face *drama*. As I've written in the previous post, today is the start of the course with the registrar. During the last session, the head of the academic training section gave a talk about the responsibilities of tutors during study leave. At first I just listened with half an ear, as I've read every paragraph and line of my contract thus knew every minute detail by heart.

Then came the Q & A session and I asked what had been bugging me for a long time. First, why was I not allowed to apply for study leave before I got the damn btn cert? It would have made everything easier and faster. To this she answered that if I have a place for btn and everything, I could actually apply first, then go to btn. OK. This was huge news to me as previously, she had insisted that btn first, then only apply. Because of this I had delayed and delayed my application! Why the sudden change? I don't care but its good news to me.

Second, she told everyone that if we have a place to study, preferably for masters, this year, then there are remaining scholarships (enough for 2) available. This news hit me with the force of hiroshima man! I mean, its already end of october. Its impossible for anyone to get a place by this time, be it to go to uk,us or oz. Plus, there are no november/december intakes anywhere except maybe Timbuktu (random assumption here). So I asked her whether I can apply to go for my phd instead, since I can negotiate to go by this december instead of january next year. Then she replied that yes, I could try but I would only succeed only if there are no masters applicants by 5th nov, which is next week.

Sooooo, what this all means is that if I get really, really lucky, I might be going off to the UK in about a month or so from now! And I can submit my application now, instead of waiting for that blasted btn!

If not, I'll just have to wait until early next year, which is not that far off anyway. But if I could go in Dec, it would better as I don't have to wait for the long tedious process of senate and KPT approvals.

My head is still reeling with the news. Habes course terus balik rumah and lie down. I've suddenly got mountains of stuff to do; contact my sv for a new offer letter, finish filling up all the study leave forms (which should have been done ages ago).

I'd better get going then. As soon as I serve my roast beef and voodoo chicken salad in cafe world that is. lama gile tunggu nak masak.

ok, bye.

to my motion fatigue: farewell

2009-10-25T21:20:00.003+08:00

Can you believe that the crew has gone and wouldn’t let me sign on
All my islands have sunk in the deep, so I can hardly relax or even oversleep
I feel as if I were home some nights, when we count all the ship lights
I guess I'll never know why sparrows love the snow
We’ll turn out all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow

-The saltwater room, Owl City-

Malacca trip was awesome!

This weekend was oh so unproductive. Spent two days lazing around doing nothing but read some books, playing fb games and watching the telly. Now I'm rolling around in bed with my face smothered with honey and oat mask (bodyshop) and suddenly felt like updating my abandoned blog. I could have gone out and watched a movie or something but had no mood lah. My Malacca trip had drained out all my 'fun' energy reserves. Plus,work has been piling up lately as I'm the only tutor who is not yet on study leave which kinda makes me the prime target for everyone who needs a hand. I sometimes feel like I have this big neon sign on my forehead saying "NOT ON STUDY LEAVE.PLEASE GIVE ME WORK". I can't walk three steps in the office before someone calls me up with a new task. But I'm not really complaining here. A few more months and iA I'll be a student again. A few more months and I'm going to be on a super long holiday (3-4 years!). A few more months and I'll probably be missing these days of freedom from exams and assignments. Well, that's my mantra these days.

Anyway, here's my schedule for next week:

monday

8.30-10.30: Invigilate final exam

12.00-2.00: Meeting Prokas

2.00- 5.00: Prepare for Taiping trip

Tuesday- Friday

8.00 a.m. - 5.00 p.m. : Kursus Persediaan Pengajian Siswazah

Looks like its gonna be another hectic week. The dad has flown off to Vietnam this morning which means I'll be the one picking up and sending the brother.

Maiden budget

Btw, what do you guys think about the new budget? I think its...ok. The credit card charge is absurd (even if its only rm50) and we civil servants could have used a bigger bonus but Rm500 is better than nothing kan.

And I somehow feel that the amount allocated for the Permata project is ridiculously huge (RM100 million!). I mean, IMHO, preschool is important and all that but wouldn't giving more to universities pay off better in the end? After all, a good preschool education doesn't even guarantee a place in uni, what more a job. Plus, parents are doing an okay job so far so why the 100 million? The money could have been allocated towards funding more research projects, thus more publications which in turn boosts our local unis' ranking. Better rankings means better students can be selected, which then shows in the quality of local graduates in the job market.

Ok, enough of budgets (of which I'm not good at anyway). Need to have some shut-eye so I can wake up bright and perky tomorrow morning. It wouldn't do for the invigilator to come late for the exams. Nope,wouldn't do at all.

Have a nice week ahead everyone!

This is Helwa, a good friend of mine when I was in Gambang. She is now a doctor, having recently graduated. I went to her open house the other day and we had fun catching up with each other.

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere..

2009-10-13T20:42:00.003+08:00

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me.
I'd send a postcard to you dear,
'Cause I wish you were here.

I watch the night turn light blue.
But it's not the same without you,
Because it takes two to whisper quietly,
The silence isn't so bad,
Till I look at my hands and feel sad,
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly.

I'll find repose in new ways,
Though I haven't slept in two days,
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.
But drenched in Vanilla twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night,
Waist deep in thought because when I think of you.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.
I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink I'll think of you... tonight.
I'll think of you tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.

-vanilla twilight, Owl City-

BTN postponed to 19-23 Nov.Why am I not surprised?

Ate strawberry shortcake (whipped cream n all) for lunch.Thanks pushie n mas.

Swam 6 1/2 laps and now there's water in my ears.My limbs ache but in a good way.

Khazanah keeps calling. Please don't tempt me anymore. I want to be a professor, not a CEO.

Going on a road trip to Malacca with the girls this weekend.Mimosa samosa, I cannot wait.

Is Adam Young gay? He dances really weird.But he has a great vocab hence, awesome lyrics.

A student rammed into my mom's car with his motorbike today.His pillion rider ran away.Some friend.

A lot of people are now under the illusion that i speak japanese fluently. Thanks pushie n el.

I'm still waiting for that planned invasion.Hurry up already, I wanna wear my indon batiks again.

I splurged on lingerie this month. Had mom in stitches with my 'minimizers'.Yup, there is such a thing.

Winking is such a lame flirting technique. Pleasela creative sikit, ingat tgh main vampire ke ape.

My biological clock used to tick very loudly.Now its ticking can barely be heard.Should I be worried?

I declare my allegiance to coco mademoiselle n MAC.How did I ever live without you?

I'm too tired and lazy to form long coherent sentences thus this post.Good night.

weekend

2009-09-14T16:08:00.008+08:00

Hey peeps. Hope everyone had a great weekend. This morning I officially deferred my phd offer to the end of January @ early Feb. The semester was supposed to start this 28th but with BTN postponed yet again, just couldn't make it. I called the pendaftar this morning, asking about all this and the officer told me to defer my offer to next year but to finish everything else a.s.a.p. So I'd better get my lazy ass moving and finish filling up those forms! Chaiyok2 O_O!

Speaking of next year, both my parents are going to Chicago in Feb. My mom has a conference there and as usual, the dad wants to tag along. They're gonna visit Abrar, have a roadtrip, go shopping etc. At first I was planning to join them (bayar tiket sendiri ok *sweat*) but seeing that I'm probably going off (or already gone) by that time, have to cancel my plans la. *hancur daydreams nak shopping brg2 coach n MAC* wtv..

Anyway, yesterday me and a couple of friends went to for a raya photoshoot. It was fun, doing poses and stuff. I'll post the rest of the photos when I get them.

Then we went for berbuka at Sushi King (sheela joined) and had the usual chitchat session at Starbucks. It was nice to finally meet up after so long.

*pictures taken from zakiah n min.

Annoyed

2009-09-09T10:29:00.006+08:00

1. BTN cancelled yet again!!! Postponed to 22-26 October. Now I have to reschedule everything again. Everything. Nasib baik la aku ni tak la sibuk sgt that time.hish.

2. Cimbclicks sgt lembab these days. Lembab gile!!!!!! Waiting for the main page to load takes like 10 minutes and by that time, they automatically log you off. Then have to re-log in. Nak bayar bills pon susah if not impossible. I think it would be faster just queuing up at the counter, at least if lambat boleh marah the officer there. Unlike cimbclicks, where you get so pissed off but can't vent it all out, baling laptop-sendiri suffer, tarik rambut-sendiri huduh. Really drives me up the wall lah!

Annoyed, fuming and frustrated. What a way to start the day.

On a side note, for those interested ke apa, there are a few UK scholarships that have October/November deadlines. Among them, British Chevening, the University of Westminister January 2010 scholarship, Commonwealth scholarship and a couple of others. So hurry up and lets applyyyy quick-quick.

September is here!!!

2009-09-01T16:33:00.002+08:00

A brand new month with two very important events i.e. Dad's birthday and Raya. This year I'm really hoping that we're not going to 'balik kampung'. We've done that every single year since forever. I want to Raya in Kajang (my town!) this year and hold a huge open house for my friends!!! yeah!!! but my little bros are whining to go back, and no, not because they miss the relatives, but to collect as much duit raya as possible! Little brats~ Maybe I can bribe them to stay here (oh duitkuuuu!!!)?

This month also is a time where I fret and frown because I have no idea what to get the Dad. Usually we'll get him his fav perfume, socks (funny!), ties or what not. This year I want to buy him something different but what eh? I'm so horrible at buying gifts for fathers, especially one who has almost everything (except a Ferrari and I can't possible afford those). He doesn't wear cuff links, has tons of great fountain pens, has a wardrobe full of shoes (yes, shoe addict gile!) and oh wait...I heard the other day that his doesn't have any sunnies since his RayBan's broke a long time ago. Maybe I can get him a new one. Maybe one with a little power too since he is definitely rabun ayam but vehemently denies it everytime (and then asks us to read the road signs, konon nak concentrate on the road...but we know better, right sistersss?!!hahahaha). Ok then, I'll start scouting for nice shades soon. Fuh! *relieved*

Today was another boring day at work. I filled out the forms *yeay!* and read some papers (actually just one *guilty*). Then played sims 3 until 430 (O_O'). And now its time to go back home. I'm already thinking on what to buy for berbuka. My favs are air tebu, roti john sardin and yong tau foo. OMG *wipes drool*. Better hurry back home now.

Ok peeps, chow dulu. Have a nice berbuka and take care!!!

p/s- Have you guys ever seen the second most viewed video on youtube called Charlie bit my finger-again?They are so cute!! Gotta watch it.

If you haven't, go and see it. Then click on the parody called Justin bit my finger-again. HILARIOUS!!!!!Rugi tak tgk...btol..hahahaha

What does Merdeka mean to you?

2009-08-30T00:00:00.001+08:00

A colleague asked me recently; What does Merdeka mean to you?

Hmm, I've never thought much about this Merdeka issue so the question left me kinda stunned. A common question, but it commands and demands us to think carefully on the answer. The word Merdeka might mean so little or so much, depending on the person.

For me, I belong to the age group that was born into a world already on its way towards massive development. In the mid-eighties , buildings were already reaching up for the sky and highways were not something to be gaped at anymore. I did not grow up eating ubi kayu nor did I experience the horrible Japanese occupation. I grew up in an age of ayam masak kfc and of learning Japanese as a third language.

I was not around when the Union Jack was lowered nor did I experience the euphoria of Tunku's proclamation. I was around when our Negaraku changed to a faster tempo and I saw Tunku in the form of grainy pictures on flat screen tvs. The meaning of Merdeka could be 'googled' and videos watched on youtube. There are hardly any old ones left to tell you their stories and their parts in gaining Independence. It has all been sadly reduced to pages of a History book and with the race to obtain the most A's, its even astonishing that we even remember what truly happened.

For many of us, we were born in a time of indulgence, prosperity and most importantly, freedom. We have always been free to pursue our own happiness within certain limits, of course. We know what democracy is and even waved happily to British royalty when they came for a visit. We have never felt how it was like to be "di jajah" nor have any memories of starvation, absolute fear, degradation and thus the overwhelming desire for self-rule.

So I asked myself, how can I know the true meaning of Merdeka when I have never experienced how it was when we not "Merdeka"? How can I feel the same exhilaration when the countdown to 31st August begins? How can I shout "Merdeka!" and not feel the mockery of it all and the hollowness of the multimillion ringgit celebrations?

I'll tell you how. Its by not looking "Merdeka" as a celebration of History, but as a joyous occasion to herald the "Future". Instead of always saying "we should be grateful for the freedom and prosperity we have now, compared to pre-merdeka days", we can say "we hope that the present freedom and prosperity we enjoy can be felt by everyone, disregarding race and background".

We as a nation should move forward lest we languish ourselves in our past. Yes, our ancestors fought for Independence and yes, we are immensely grateful for it. We should remember their fight and all but 52 years has passed. Perhaps now its time to stop looking back and stop living in the glorified days of the past. The present demands our attention and its time to act. Soon, the future generations will look to us to lead the country and we have no right to say anymore "During the colonial rule, we had to bla bla bla so we should be grateful bla bla bla" when we ourselves never experienced it.

For me, I hope that our answer to them then would be "We are grateful that for the first time, we are truly 1 nation, not divided by race, religion, colour, ethnicity or language. We are proud to live by the principles of equality and integrity. We are happy that we remember the past, appreciate the present and work hard for the future".

So whether you are partying away at Zouk, watching the dazzling fireworks at a nearby stadium or simply lepak-ing at home, when the countdown begins, take a moment to think about this and the 1Malaysia concept. Are you ready to move forward and embrace change? And when you shout Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!, what does Merdeka really mean to you?

Selamat Hari Merdeka ke-52.

Never say never

2009-08-26T15:13:00.002+08:00

Some things we don't talk about
better do without
just hold a smile
we're falling in and out of love
the same damn problem

together all the while
you can never say never
when we don't know why
time and time again
younger now then we were before
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go

picture you're the queen of everything
as far as the i can see
under your command
i will be your guardian
when all is crumbling
steady your hand

you can never say never
when we don't know why
time and time again
younger now then we were before
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go

we're falling apart
and coming together again and again
we're coming apart
but we hold it together
hold it together, together again

don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go,
don't let me go(x2)

The most beautiful song yet..Can you just imagine your loved one singing this to you? *swoons* The Fray = awesome!

Here's the song and a fab cover done by tyler ward.

hate and procrastinate

2009-08-25T15:29:00.004+08:00

I just hate filling forms! Hate!!!!!!!!!! Hate!!!Hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So instead I've decluttered my desk, read Jelita again, updated some work stuff, called a bunch of people, swept the room, squished another giant cricket and finally I've run out of things to do aside from sleep or go back. Its an hour til I can chow and not feeling sleepy so it looks like I have to face the dreaded forms.

Pushie's finished already and it took her the whole day (kan pushie?).

Arrrrrgh!! and I can't keep postponing because I want to submit as soon as I'm done with BTN.

Ok..let me think..its 345 now..tak sempat pon nak habes if i do start..

hmm..wth, I'll just do them tomorrow..*slaps self for being a lazy procrastinating bum*

Wtv. Happy berbuka people!

Honey, Oats and stuff

2009-08-24T21:39:00.006+08:00

Don't you love the smell of honey? Its so warm and sweet and makes you feel all giddy inside. Actually, I've just finished washing off the Bodyshop's Honey & Oat mask (which I cilok-ed from mom) from my face. Thanks to the mask that left my face smelling super duper yummy and combined with the cranberry body butter I slathered on my hands and feet earlier, plus a spritz of britney's midnight fantasy, I now smell like a freaking candy store. Omg, there's even a couple of curious ants coming my way now. Aiyooo..amek ko *squishes ants*

Anyway, this morning I went to JPA and handed them the YDPA scholarship form. I don't really harbour any hopes of getting even an interview as the competition is really3 intense. Like really. Imagine, only 6 places up for grabs! And we have to compete with people already enrolled in harvard or oxford.And this scholarship has all sort of conditions like you have to be fluent in foreign languages, produce creative work and stuff. Gile susah mak oiiii. So why did I even bother to apply? Because I want to meet the Agong la!!! hahaha..No la, actually its because I have nothing better to do at the moment and..... I really do want to meet our King. Then I can namedrop in random conversations like "Oh, the Agong and I talked about the same thing the other day" and "OMG, the Agong said the exact same thing to me!"..HAHAHA..never hurts to dream, right?!

Jokes aside, I applied because maybe I might just get lucky and the scholarship itself ain't bad at all, even higher than the Hadiah Persekutuan but not sure how it compares to SLAB though. So, lets see how ok.*crosses fingers and toes*

I've also booked to go to BTN on 1-5 October. People keep coming up to me and asking whether I'll be fasting when I run 2 km up the hill and I'm like, WTF?!!! Masa tu dah habes raya la pokcik! Kecoh je u all nih. After BTN, I can finally submit the cuti belajar forms and stop all the "bile nak cuti belajar ni" questions from everyone. Give me a break la people. I've only been here for like 4 months.Sheesh.

Oh, btw, to those seeking overseas postgraduate scholarships, many of them are beginning to open now, for next year's intake. So you have to hurry and apply for a place first, then fill out the scholarship forms. For those interested, google cepat2 k! Especially for top tier universities, you should start applying now, not next year.

Shoot, my room right now is freezing. The aircond is blowing up gusts of artic-like air with gusto. And I can't find the stupid remote. Probably hidden somewhere underneath the pile of bags, clothes and pillows. Malas nye nak carik. But unless I plan to die of hypothermia tonight, better start digging fast.

Ouch! An ant just bit me. Mesti ingat my arm is a ripe fruit. Curses!!!

Okla, nak g cari insect repellent and that accursed remote. Why do you keep hiding from me every single damn night?!!!!!!!!!

p/s- Sheela, zakiah, syakira and min. Miss you girlsss..jom la meet up

pp/s- Selamat Berpuasa to everyone.

ppp/s- Everyday can go back home at 430. Yeay!!! :D

5 years

2009-08-17T09:31:00.007+08:00

5 years.

Change is inevitable.

But I still mourne for innocence lost.

Still yearn for our carefree laughter and wide grins.

Time, truly does change everything.

jitters and bald men

2009-08-13T15:28:00.005+08:00

oh, sungguh nervous skrg ni...Have not yet prepared for my interview tomorrow...I've forgotten a lot of criminal law stuff, prima facie and what not...and I'm so damn lazy to leaf through the CPC...not even sure where it is now...apa nak jawab nanti...warghhhh...stressssss

oh, yesterday a uni in london e-mailed, saying that they're gonna offer me a tuition fee scholarship for LLM..I applied like ages ago and totally forgot about it...so last night I was busy scanning reference letters and stuff to send to them...kalau ikutkan malas betul nak buat benda-benda macam ni..but i need a backup if the worse happens...and I pray that it doesn't..

yeah, talking about these things are so boring, right? So lets move on to other, more juicy, topics like SEXY BALD MEN (mesti google rating blog ni tinggi lepas ni)..

hahaha..seriously...a few days ago I watched "Beauties from around the world" on KBS (Korean channel) where they talked about the different perceptions of women towards bald men. Around the world, bald men are considered sexy but in Korea, its almost a sin not to have lush, thick hair. So I was wondering, how about in Malaysia (tade pon Malaysian beauty kat dlm show tu..motif!!)? Do we generally see bald as sexy or what? For me, I think its better to be bald then balding. If I see a man with only a few wisps of hair left, gracefully waving in the wind, I just itch to tear them out. It looks horrible and nasty. So in that case, bald is better. But usually, I prefer men with hair.Well, thats me anyway. What about you?

While you think about how your crush would look without hair, lets drool over some pictures of handsome bald men...

A little old, but still cute..I'll take him over si gandalf tu anyday..

"Wussup babe"...huh, bruce willis sure is hot!!

"I don't need hair to prove I'm a 'super'man!"

"Smell me baby..."

Okayyyyy...that was too much, vin diesel, no matter how sexy you are..hahaha

Well, better start searching for my old criminal notes now...wish me luck yah people..

Bouncing on a dark no 9 cloud

2009-08-11T22:45:00.003+08:00

I've been officially accepted into the Kent PhD program. After months of drafting and redrafting the proposal, reading hundreds of journals, ding-donging with potential supervisors and submitting countless of other procedural stuff, the offer has finally come. The e-mail had me bouncing on cloud 9. I've been smiling for the past hour and its beginning to make my mouth ache. So I'd better stop.

Plus, the possibility of scholarship issues makes the cloud I'm bouncing turn rather dark. In fact, the more I think about it, the stormier it gets. It makes me really angry, the thoughts of promises made and carrots dangled enticingly. Curse you!!

But until I apply for study leave, nothing is for certain yet (adakah false hope?mungkin.). So the next few days will be busy, filling study leave forms etc. S**t, I still haven't gone to BTN, which was stupidly cancelled the last minute. And the next one will be in October!!! October?!!!?Frust tertonggeng nih. and i would never in a million years have thought that btn getting cancelled would be a very sad day for me but it is. huh.

Perhaps an interview I'm going this Friday will be the badly needed ray of sunshine right now. I thought I was done with interviews before. Been to too many and job-hopped too many times. Its very tiring you know, interviews, accepting or declining offers, resignation letters, goodbyes and stuff. Not to mention answering questions from friends. Normally, I'd just laugh this one off (like the two others before this) coz I'm quite settled here. Happy, in fact. The workload and the pay is evenly balanced, atmospheres amazing and all that. But if the promised carrots do not materialize,this offer is very tempting. Very, very tempting. So I'll just go and see what happens (Oh, to be reduced to this pathetic state makes me cringe!)

Sigh~~Life. So many obstacles and hurdles to go through. Hoops of fire aplenty, each one leaving a scar and when you finally see the finish line, it ends up being just a mirage. You realize that theres still a long way to go and so many other hoops waiting to burn you. So, then, what can you do? Do you give up, lie down and watch the others pass you by? Nope, you continue running until the very end because what awaits at the finishing line is always worth it...bak kata Nickleback:

Against the grain should be a way of life

What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

But right now, I'm still on cloud 9. So I'm going to enjoy this moment a bit longer before the storm comes. Weeeeee~~~~

Airports

2009-07-09T13:26:00.003+08:00

I'm currently eating ice-cream in McD, KLIA. I'm waiting for my parents who are coming home from Turkey. I am so glad that they're coming back (being parents with abrar is pretty tiring). Their flight has been delayed thus leaving me with two hours of free time which I don't really mind because I love airports.

I've always had a fascination towards airports. Its a sad place, where goodbyes are made, hearts ache and tears flow. But its also a place of happiness, where long lost love is found, the beginning of dreams and familiar bonds are re-forged. You can see many types of people. Business men in Armani suits, hurrying, as if the very hands of time are pushing them forward. You can see families, clinging to loved ones, departing or just arrived. You can see youths, off on backpacking adventures, excited looks and bubbly laughter trailing behind them. You can see some old timers, confusion deepening the wrinkles and lines on their faces, as they try to figure out the complex system of checking-in and gate numbers. Then there are the workers and staff. Handsome and beautiful flight attendants also whiz by,followed by many envious and admiring eyes. There are the stern pilots, trained and professional, heroes in the skies. And we must not forget the cleaners, baggage handlers and trolley pick-uppers. They complete the mosaic that make airports among, if not the busiest places in the world and definitely my kind of place.

Anyway, enough about airports. Its been quite a while since the last update. So whats going on now? Work-wise, this semester I'm helping a lecturer conduct a class. The first class went well and I hope it stays that way. But let me tell you, it feels a bit weird standing in front of a class as an educator (broadly speaking). It only seemed yesterday when I was a student myself.

Oh, I can't wait for Harry Potter to come out and I've watched Ice Age 3 which was an awesome move btw. I'm currently reading Raymond E. Feist's Magician series and the first book was fantastic, really reminded me why I read fantasy in the first place. I've also started to play the sims 3. It seems to be a lot better than sims 2.

Ok, my lappies batteries are draining fast. Will update more later (I hope).

Take care people!

p/s- did u guys see the MJ memorial? Paris's lil speech on her dad was heartbreaking ok!

pp/s- My Sims are so damn rich they even have a flat screen tv in the bathroom! amek ko!!! If only I can transfer their money into my bank account..oooooooh

scattered thoughts on a rainy evening

2009-06-24T17:53:00.004+08:00

Its drizzling right now..angin pon sepoi-sepoi...oopss, actually more like a tornado..habes terbang newspaper..atap pon bunyi mcm nak tercabut je..kodi betul..omg, did a kitten just flew by? tak kot *nervous laugh*

Hari ni kat lif klcc terserempak ngan daia..she was rushing off to go to this menara (sorry daia, didnt really hear ya)..monday terserempak ngan husnul ngan mamat yg hot! (yes, i noticed..husnul, mcm mana ko jumpe mamat yg hot2 ni?!!)..and everyday terserempak ngan dekan! hish..of the thousands of people yg dtg conference i just had to bump into him like every single day..kan die ingat aku stalk die..benci!! and awkward gile..sigh~

esok masuk gaji..nak g tukar duit for Singapore trip..i think i have to make a budget kot what to buy..need to start saving up for future expenses if i do end up going to kent *crosses fingers and toes*

I've heard that tansformers 2 is lousy!!i'm like so damn dissapointed..terus tade mood nak tgk..tp mcm nak tgk gak..maybe download je la..

Org sebelah rumah tgh buat renovations to their gate..bising nak mampos..feels like they're drilling into my head..dahla menjerit2 dlm bahasa myanmar campur bangla! aku baling selipar baru tahu..

I'd kill to play Sim 3 now, tapi pc kat rumah sume dah rosak..and the laptops tak cukup power nak handle the graphics..ooooohh, sungguh frust..

Despite it all, I still think that the Iran issue is being overblown by certain parties..like there are thousands of people homeless and starving in their own backyard yet they prefer to focus on creating chaos in a country millions of miles away..imho, they've always had a thing against iran ever since iran declared that they had nuclear power etc..and ahmadinejab has always been a thorn in your foot, daring to critisize you and your best friend when the rest of the world bow at your feet..it really riles me up, seeing the biasness of the media..wtv..i just wonder who is next on your list when iran is done with..audacity of hope my ass!!

i love makeupgeek vids kat youtube..her vids are awesome..tapi pagi tadi ala2 nak buat smokey eyes mcm die ajar, tapi tak jadi..jadi mcm mate rihanna lepas kene tumbuk cris brown..dammit!

Hari ni rasa mcm nak masak..maybe telur masak kicap? or ayam masak kicap? or ikan masak kicap? hahaha..anything with kicap on it will do..tetibe craving for kicap O_0

okla, nak g masak nasi..surprise mom when she comes home..

bye peeps!

an emptying nest

2009-06-22T21:21:00.005+08:00

Some funny pics I found on the net :D

Its pretty quiet in the house now. Ahmad has finally left the home for greener pastures. I hope he does well there, overcoming his addiction to dota and making new friends. He will have to learn how to wash his own clothes (dobi tade ok..hahah) and get up at 5.30 everyday and no more 1 hour showers. But if he manages to survive all that, his future will be bright iA.

So at home, theres only mom n dad, me and two lil bros. The eldest lives with the other bujangs..One sister is in tasmania (holla maryam :D)..another is in uitm reading law (blaja btol2 aishah yer)..and another will soon be off to Michigan (skjp je rasa dua tahun kan)..My littlest brother also plans to go to boarding school next year.And of course, if everything goes as planned, I too will say goodbye. Slowly, one by one, we are leaving the nest..

Dinner was a sombre affair for my parents. They kept lamenting on how theres only 4 plates and the like. 4 may seem a lot to some but there used to be 10. I guess my parents, like most parents, will never get used to the thought of their children growing up and leaving. To them, we are still their babies and will always need care and protection (and money..hahaha).

On a lighter note, I'm currently attending the 14th International Conference on Thinking organized by UPM at KLCC. Theres many famous speakers like Tony Buzan (mind mapping fame) and Edward De Bono (cant say i've heard of him but everyone says he's famous). I met an old friend today (Husnul!) plus made a new friend (not telling who). I bought a nice cranberry n apple drink from cold storage and sipped it while watching busy people in power suits whizz by and reminiscing the time when I was part of that group with my new found friend.

Then Zakiah informed me she had free tickets to watch Transformers, of course, AFTER I arrived home *frust sampai tertonggeng*. Then I rushed to scan and send my last letter of recommendation to Kent (Kent said that they will make the official offer for phd places next month so now I just have to wait patiently *bites nails*).

Overall, despite the emptying nest and all, today was a good day.

June updates

2009-06-15T11:07:00.006+08:00

Hi y'all!! wussup wussuppppp..

hehe..this is the first post for this month, and its already the 15th!! O_0

whatevs..you know la, busy doing this and that and the next thing you know its the middle of the freakin month already..

anyway, I'm currently playing (more like addict-ing) 2 games in fb..one is mafia wars and the other is farmtown..in farmtown, i use the name Egwene, a character in the wheel of time that i like..this morning i went to market to sell some of my harvest and somebody hired me to do some harvesting..

This is another person's fram I randomly googled to show you what its all about..

while busy harvesting her patch (this sounds so wrong!), she started asking me about my name and whether its my real name or was i a fan of robert jordan!

I was like..OMG!! and we started talking about robert jordan and how we were both mad as hell that he died before finishing his books bla bla bla..and she was like plowing her garden while i

harvested the trees and we talked about how whinny Rand was and how the last book would be like since brandon sanderson is writing it..it was quite funny to see us like two farmwives in the old days, doing the chores and yapping away..and yet i'm in the office in upm and she's in her office in australia (masing-masing makan gaji buta skjp)..the wonders of modern technology never fails to amaze me..hahaha..

well, we exchanged e-mails and there, I made a new friend today :D

___________________________________________________________________

On a side note, the trip to Singapore is dangerously close and I've yet to plan things with zakiah..where to go, what to shop, arrangements with shaz etc..but boy am I excited!! I planning to buy some electronic goods..heard and read that its cheap there..But sadly, we're both gonna miss Sarah's wedding in Putrajaya..she's my sekolah rendah mate and zakiah's high school mate..fancy that kan..hehe..

Hanna and Sarah..my best friends dulu2 and both getting married this year..perlu ke rasa left out of all this wedding craze?sigh~

This was taken during 6 Orkid's dinner together with my fav teacher, Cikgu Midah..its been 12 years since most of us met..so forgive me if I dont remember all of u, eventhough everyone remembered me *hidung kembang kuncup uols!!*..haha..and who the hell spread rumours that Cikgu had gone senile? Wtf, she was absolutely lucid the whole night long and she still teaches..but..she did mention something about beating her students whilst they lean against a door or something..OMG!!

Oh, and I wanna congratulate my Sheela's sister April for graduating with a first class!! and wish her luck for the future..all the best girl..

I'm proud of you April! hehe

And I saw Drag Me To Hell last Friday..it was an ok movie..not that great IMHO coz the ending and some scenes were cringeworthy..but it had plenty of jump out of your seat moments (sampai nak terplanting handbag ok!) and lots of gory stuff, enough to satisfy your hunger for horror..

This woman makes me scared of gypsies..well, scared-er anyway..before this I was already a bit scared of (gasp!) Esmerelda in Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame...all that dancing and dark hair, i knew she was evil..hahaha..wtv

Ok, have a happy Moanday peeps!!

Old women and pregnancy

2009-05-26T10:59:00.004+08:00

I'm munching on a bar of Cadbury's Black Forest which was supposed to be a gift for a colleague..but the temptation proved too much so I ended up giving a Mars Bar instead..ok la tu..hahaha..

ok, moving on.

Today's topic.

Old women getting pregnant. I mean really old women. 65 ++ old women.

These few days, I've been reading headlines around the world about a 66 year old woman who is 8 months pregnant and how she'll be about 80 years old when her child enters high school. Through fertility test, this old divorcee got herself pregnant and plans to have and raise the child on her own! This has caused an uproar around the world. Many are against the idea and yet many are okay as it gives childless couples a chance to have children even though the child bearing age has passed.

Anyway, the debate centers around whether it is ethical to have a child at that age. First, because raising a young child to adulthood is very hard work and old people just don't have the required amount of stamina to do it. There's waking up in the middle of night to feed the baby, theres running around the park trying to catch the active toddler, theres sending the chubby one to kindergarten and soccer practice. There's cooking dinners and having birthday parties. Theres PTA meetings and boy scout camps to join. And when the child becomes a tween/teen, there's the pubescent age where all the pent-up rage and zits pop out of nowhere and the word 'communication' seems like an alien concept to them. Parents must have the necessary energy to cope with all these things and more, plus live long enough if possible, to see their child wedded and have children. If you give birth at 66, can you be sure that by 80, you'll be strong enough to even get out of bed?

They say that in these times where the life expectancy has risen to about 100 years old (for women at least), it means that more women can get pregnant later on in their lives. However, I think that considerations must be given to the fact that for the better part of 30 odd years before you kick the bucket, most people simply don't have the energy to go jogging, what more raising a toddler. As we age, our cells cease to generate fast enough and our bodies weaken, arthritis makes it difficult to grasp and even a fall in a bathroom can break your back. Even though we eat vitamins by the bucket loads or drink Anlene 8 times a day, nature's process will continue nonetheless. My point is, would you want a child to grow up in such a fragile environment? Where at any time, his/her parents could die or get hurt? Would you want to your child to go to school knowing that he might not see his mom by the time he comes home?

Second, the stigma. You know how kids can be cruel. Imagine if your parents are like 70 years old. Kids have been tortured for less man! The child may end up hating or resenting the parents, ashamed of their age and not wanting to go anywhere with them. And its worse if the parents are technologically blind i.e. cannot even use handphone, thinks facebook is a real book or gasp! wear hearing aids/ really3 thick glasses. The child will not be able to connect and lastly, drift off to spend time with his friends or join a rempit gang. I mean, I'm always complaining if my dad sms me all in Caps lock. Maybe I should be grateful that he even knows how to sms!

Third and I think most importantly, money. Kids mean money. A lot of money. From paying hospital bills to buying school uniforms, all requires money. The older the kids are, the more money they need (ehem..i should know..lol). Young parents who are working may have no problem with this, they can work 2 or more jobs to cope, but for old people who are already retired, it becomes a serious problem. Living off the 'pencen' is not enough these days. And if you want to get a loan, the age factor will of course put you off the list permanently. And if I remember correctly, the risks of getting weird genetic diseases increases the older the mother is.

Ok, its clear by now that I'm against this idea of old pregnant women. Its just the harm far outweighs the benefits. I think therefore, an age limit should be set. By who God knows. But it should. Maybe the maximum age should be 45 or something, 50 at most. Or maybe some preconditions should be set, like be financially stable, not divorced, have other relatives that can take care of the child etc.

What do you think?

Senam tari?

2009-05-22T10:03:00.003+08:00

Program Perhimpunan Staf Bulan Mei 2009

Universiti Putra Malaysia

22 Mei 2009

3.30 ptg

Acara Utama

-Ucapan Hari Pekerja

-Ikrar Integriti

-SENAM TARI

Motif ada senam tari masa perhimpunan??!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can already imagine all those old professors forming a conga line *trauma jap*

well, at least it'll be interesting..

time to get down y'all!

Happy Friday!

Any recommendations?

2009-05-20T15:13:00.002+08:00

I need to buy a new foundation soon-ish. My current Elizabeth Arden powder to cream foundation dah nak habes. So far, its ok. The colour suits my skin and it lasted about half a year, and all through the day when applied. However, its kinda heavy and my skin can get a bit oily in the afternoon. So, babes out there, what do you think is the best brand for foundations? I wanna try MAC or Chanel coz I heard they're quite good. Any ideas?

And oh, I'm not looking for the liquid type coz in this heat, it'll all melt away by noon.

Meetings

2009-05-19T08:15:00.003+08:00

Today will be filled with meetings. The good thing is there will be plenty of free food (yeay!!). The awful thing is to have to sit and listen to people talk. And talk. Then talk somemore. Then go home and tonight there will be another meeting..warghhhhhhh

Who invented meetings anyway?

i know kitty..i know..

and hopefully this evening it won't rain coz I desperately need to go swimming *o*

Dreams

2009-05-18T08:22:00.004+08:00

I had the most disturbing dream ever last night. It freaks me out just thinking about it. No, I'm not going to tell it here but I'm just wondering about dreams. Do they really foretell the future like in my fantasy novels? Do they hold some kind of hidden meaning or even warnings? Or are they simply things cooked up by the brain, using images in our everyday lives?

Anyway, people say that when you dream, its actually your subconscious telling you something. For example, if you dream of running away from a vicious dog, then in reality, you may be in a situation where you want to escape from someone who is bothering you or whatever. Dreams are like hidden omens that we fail to see when we're awake.

But if dreams are generated from images we see while we are awake, then how do we explain dreams where you meet someone who you are absolutely sure that you've never seen before?And, what if the next morning, the first face you see standing outside your office is the exact same person you dreamt about? Only that he insists that he has never met you nor been anywhere near the university in his life.

OMG..you can't imagine how creepy that was..but i just wonder, what does it mean?

What do you think of night dreams? Real or otherwise?

What a way to start the week eh?

Happy Monday everyone :D